How To Vacation In Miami & The Keys Without Drowning In D-Bags

The Key West <a href="">Audubon House and Garden</a> (Gothamist)

Roosters roam freely in Key West. (Gothamist)

One of the many well-stocked cigar stands in Key West. (Gothamist)

Key West sunset, as seen from <a href="">Mallory Square Dock</a>. (Gothamist)

Tourists wait to get their photos taken at the southernmost point of the contiguous United States. (Gothamist)

There is no shortage of places in Key West to pick up souvenirs. (Gothamist)

The interior garden of the Standard Miami. (Gothamist)

Ping-pong in the Standard pool. (Gothamist)

An astonishing chandelier made of dandelion seed heads in a fancy watch store at the Fontainebleau Hotel. (Gothamist)

Standard Miami's salt water pool, with the bayside restaurant in the background. (Gothamist)

Your author, left, does early-morning yoga at the Standard Miami. (Kidding, I was passed out by the fire pit.) (Gothamist)

The beach at the Fontainebleau. The beaches here at South Beach are beautiful and clear, and for the most part open to the public. (Gothamist)

The fire pit at the Standard Miami. (Gothamist)

Enough said. (Gothamist)

This photo was taken by artist and Standard employee <a href="">Marcello Ibanez</a>, who creates brilliant chalkboard illustrations by the pool daily. In the caption for this photo, Ibanez writes that the woman, Maria, "comes every single evening to swim and watch the sunset. I adore her young spirit although she is 90-something she always brings candies to the pool staff. These kind of people inspire me every day more and more to be a better person everyday."

The exterior of The Standard, with the old facade and signage preserved. (Gothamist)

Biscayne Bay, where the Cuban gentlemen sleep all day. (Gothamist)

How the Fontainebleau Miami Beach looks today from the sky. The pool has been completely changed from The Goldfinger days, but the main building, designed by Morris Lapidus, is the same.

The Standard at night. You know what, it's actually a terrible place. Don't go there. (Gothamist)