7 Deadliest Etiquette Sins To Commit On The Subway

Photo by allisonsaid

<p><strong>SUBWAY SPITTING</strong></p><p>Tipster Lauren describes the above scene: "He starts banging his tin of chew on the seat so loudly it has the effect of nails on a chalkboard where every passenger seems to cringe. Once he felt like he had annoyed our ear drums long enough he opened the vile smelling tobacco canister and released a whole new level if hell into our subway car. My eyes watered and my gag reflex kicked in as he started to chew, spit, the repeat." </p><p>Okay that's a little over-dramatic with the eye-watering... but spitting of any kind, whether it's tobacco-flavored or just regular original spit flavor, should be reserved to your private living space. Don't make us a launch a campaign to bring back <a href="">NYC's classic anti-spitting posters</a>.</p>

<strong>SUBWAY PDA</strong><p>Just because Anne Hathaway <a href="">makes out on the subway</a> doesn't mean it's okay for you to. Celebrities are <em>not</em> just like us. They are more attractive. Everyone else just chill out and wait until there is more space between you and your fellow New Yorkers. Maybe a park, or your home, or somewhere that isn't a small, confined, inescapable place. </p><p>The tipster who sent this photo in asks, "Check out these two freaks I spied on the 4 today—this was on a very crowded train, with an old woman right next to them and my 3 year oldright on my lap underneath! Am I being prudish or is this a party foul?" Sir, we will happily join you on your fainting couch, and call this a party foul.</p>

<strong>BLOW JOBS</strong><p>Ladies, ladies, ladies. First of all: have some respect for yourselves. Second of all: wait until you are <em>anywhere</em>, literally anywhere else to give your boyfriend head. The subway is just a terrible idea for this, and not just because it's going to end up with sperm leaking on to the seats where other people will be sitting. Have you ever thought of what kind of teeth-on-flesh contact may happen when the train comes to a sudden stop? Plus: <a href="">World Star Hip Hop is always watching</a>.</p>

<strong>POLE HUGGING</strong><p>Should you find yourself without a seat on the subway, the first natural thing is to grab on to a pole, but wait... some person has decided to drape their body across the entire thing. <a href="">This person is the worst</a>. Sure, we feel defeated on some days, and can barely muster standing up to forge ahead, but we still don't resort to leaning our entire failed existence on to the subway pole. So please don't do that either.</p>

<p>And finally, some classics...</p><p><strong>BANANA PEELS</strong>: There is no way to break subway etiquette that is going to amuse the other people on the subway, which was proven by <a href="">this lady</a> in February. This Seriously Self-Important New York Businesswoman curated a whole tableau dedicated to poor subway etiquette, but the subtle slapstick of the banana peel was lost on her fell straphangers. Why? Because there is no good way to hog a seat.</p><p><strong>BIKES</strong>: Is it sunny out and you aren't injured? Then why is your <a href="">bike taking up all that space on the subway</a>?</p><p><strong>BALLS</strong>: <a href="">Nope</a>.</p><p><strong>BACKPACKS</strong>: Please <a href="">put your backpack or large bag</a> at your feet on a crowded subway.</p><p><strong>FOOD</strong>: Did you learn nothing from <a href="">Mr. Chompy</a> or the <a href="">Spaghetti Fight of 2011</a>? No one wants to smell your food or see it being shoved in your mouth.</p><p><strong>SEAT PRIORITY</strong>: Do we really need to tell you to give your seat up to someone with disabilities, or who is elderly, or <a href="">pregnant</a>?</p><p><strong>STUFF</strong>: Sweet <a href="">antique table</a> and <a href="">Christmas tree</a>, but what are they doing on the crowded subway?</p>