The 13th annual Idiotarod staggered its way through South Brooklyn yesterday, with some two dozen costumed teams racing pushing their themed carts from Pier 1 in Brooklyn Bridge Park to the Gowanus Ballroom by the Smith and Ninth Street Bridge.
As is the custom, there were several lengthy stops at bars along the way, in Brooklyn Heights, Clinton Hill, and Park Slope, though because the booze also flowed freely in the streets, these were less about drinking and more about the bizarre contests set up in each venue by the tireless "scientists" at Idiot Labs.
Most teams put a remarkable amount of energy and creativity into their carts. The Dada DooDoo squad, for example, trotted out a working "chicken cannon" and, in honor of Donald Trump, a literal toilet of burning shit. For their efforts the squad took home Best In Show in the trophy-giving part of the day's festivities.
The San Fermidiots, an international coterie of actual research scientists, whose covered their cart with a papier-mâché bull which, among other tricks, peed alcohol and pooped brownie bites. These relentlessly enthusiastic brainiacs won Best Industrial Design for their efforts.
Also impressive was the Affordable Candy Act crew, who waved signs and chanted things like "I'm With Her-shey" and "Yes We Candy!"; "The Price Is Wrong, Bitch" cart, complete with working spinning wheel; the Medieval Times team, whose banquet table overflowed with goblets of mead and platters of carrion; and the End of the Earth Gala, manned by armed polar bears forming the last line of resistance against climate disaster.
And after all that work, the carts were destroyed by a greedy-Trump-pig crusher at the Gowanus Ballroom, a fitting end to raucous day.