Boerum Hill's hottest new B&B is slated to open next week, and to ease the apprehension of the neighbors the Department of Corrections gave a guided tour of the Brooklyn House of Detention today. No word on how many who attended today were parents attempting to scare their kids straight.

We were too busy staring at our poster of Rita Hayworth to attend, but the Times took a gander and noted the facility's "fresh paint" and "heart-healthy meals" that will be served to the 759 prisoners lucky enough to reside there.

Worried about parking? "All 544 employees assigned to the jail were advised to take public transportation." (Ouch.) Safety? Warden Walter Nim assured the reporter, "We are fully committed to being good neighbors. As a commanding officer of this facility, my primary concern is the safety and security of all uniformed staff, all civilians and inmates." Five NYPD officers will be stationed outside.

"I never would have agreed to buy this house for all this money had I known it was opening," a mother of four children said, referring to her $3.4 million townhouse she and her husband closed on in July. Oh, cheer up: the real prison is domesticity.