Brooklyn may have a Halloween house with mutilated baby dolls but there's a more traditionally decorated haunted "townhouse" on Manhattan's Upper West Side that is perfect for spooking your children. Especially if they are three-and-a-half and claim they love Halloween.

Psychologists say that fear is important, otherwise "we'd jump headlong into things we shouldn't" (also, kids like to be scared). So I guess I did good when I took my toddler to West 69th. She's seen mummies and death masks at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and she was happy to tell passers-by about the Halloween display she was sitting next to, "This mummy is a dead body! And the other mummy is sitting up!"

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Awesome parenting, right?

She joyfully examined everything within 45 inches off the ground—who cares that she woke up repeatedly in the middle of the night, crying about "the bloody leg" that was shackled to a gate? I'm trying to raise a Native New Yorker here.