Well hello, Staten Island.
The borough isn't exactly synonymous with envy-inducing homes—what with the "New Town" boom of the 1960s—but this mid-century home currently on the market would be worth the ferry ride. Built in 1978, it doesn't look like it's been updated much since—the kitchen is unimpressive, the carpeting is... carpeting, and the furniture belongs in a dumpster. But the shell is beautiful, and it's probably the most unique 5-bedroom home you'll get for $1.99 million in any of the five boroughs.
According to Curbed, it's located in the more posh neighborhood of Todt Hill, near Saint Francis Woodlands and Reed's Basket Willow Swamp Park. The listing notes that there are "four bathrooms, floor-to-ceiling windows, a dressing area, detailed fireplace, and small office." The 5,742-square-foot space also has an atrium, which is definitely the centerpiece of the property.
Go forth, buy on Staten Island, host a bunch of key parties.