Say you're a chart-topping artist with a habit for causing near-riots when making NYC appearances. Your long awaited third album is coming out on Tuesday. So what better way to promote that release than by losing a highly publicized video game battle to Australia's most famous soccer player, Tim Cahill? (At least it's not another brawl with Chris Brown!)

No, Drake didn't spend all of his Monday night promoting Nothing Was the Same; he took time out to visit Union Square Ballroom, as EA Games and Major League Soccer teamed up for their annual launch party for the world's most successful sports game franchise, FIFA 14. The rapper from Toronto battled the New York Red Bulls midfielder in a main event exhibition match while Swizz Beats pumped out a DJ set behind them. The back-and-forth match saw Tim Cahill emerge victorious, besting the former Degrassi star 3-2.

We're not professional FIFA players by any stretch, but Cahill's victory is humiliating for "Drizzy" for a few reasons:

Drake had a huge player advantage. Cahill, being loyal to his club, picked the New York Red Bulls - which in the world of FIFA is a middle tier team, with an average player rating of just 65. Drake, on the other hand, picked Real Madrid, one of the top rated teams in the game with an average player rating of 80. That's a huge mismatch, and Drake's advantage just on paper should've been enough to win the game.

Cahill was not prepared to play on the Xbox 360 version. With Microsoft having close ties with EA and MLS, all the consoles at the event were Xbox 360s. But Cahill confided to us before the match that he is a Playstation 3 owner and had practiced on that platform. We'll admit from personal experience that the differences in the controllers are enough to throw anyone. Drake, on the other hand, is reportedly a Xbox 360 owner, and should've had the advantage on controls.

But the biggest reason for embarrassment? Cahill won by scoring with himself. After back and forth goals from virtual Thierry Henry and virtual Cristiano Ronaldo, the game was forced into an extra match under sudden death rules. (EA apparently didn't want the game to go to penalties.) It took another full half of play before real Tim Cahill connected a cross to virtual Tim Cahill, where he put a trademark header into the back of the net to secure the victory. It's one thing to get beaten in a video game by someone, but to get beaten by someone playing as themselves? That's some next-level, Inception-style shame.

The shame may have been too much for Drake (that or he had somewhere else to be), as he and his entourage disappeared into the back of the venue and weren't seen again. Cahill, meanwhile, celebrated on stage with his Red Bulls teammates in attendance, giving the team a nice lift in the run up to Sunday's match in Seattle.

(And in matches almost as important as the main event, Team Gothamist went perfect on the night, defeating Team DCist on penalties 4-2, and Team NY Post 2-1 in extra time.)