People sometimes need to transport their belongings via the subway, and people sometimes like to sit on furniture while riding the rails. But only one man has the moxie to do both of these things while looking for all intents and purposes like the smuggest lifeform on Earth, a mix of Sean Parker, a CIROC vodka ad, and a poodle on its birthday.

Unamused witness Barbara G., who snapped the photo on a northbound N train this week, says, "This toolbag was wheeling left and right on his swivel chair with his wet umbrella. He didn't give a fuck about people getting on or off. This is my New York." Sorry Barbara, it's actually HIS New York. Be grateful you're permitted to stand quietly in his mobile conference room while he's conducting important business.