It's that magical time of the year once again, when we get to cut a tree down in the prime of its life, cover it with LED lights, and prop its lifeless body up in Rockefeller Center. Just thinking about it makes us want to get a hot chocolate to scald our fellow shoppers with on Black Friday. The holidays are here!
According to the Daily News, this year's tree is in Mifflinville, Pennsylvania, measures in at 75-feet, and is currently under 24-hour police protection. Because if (hahaha WHEN) this tree is murdered, you better believe it's not going to be by some local punk (like 70-year-old neighbor John Broscious, who says "large tanks" came in the summer to spray it with "all kinds of chemicals")... it's going to be when NBC's Today show cameras are rolling.
You can expect its corpse to be dragged through the mean streets of New York City any day now, or at least by November 30th, when it will be unveiled.