200802saganlove.gifART: Come help open up the new Chelsea gallery, Honey Space, tonight. Check out their inaugural exhibition whilst you nosh on fondue. The space is unique in that it will present "regular programming of site-specific installations and special events...and during normal daytime hours, the space will be open to the public, and unmonitored." Suggested attire for the evening is red (well that's not very creative!).

6pm to midnight // Honey Space [148 11th Ave] // Free

EVENT: The 2nd Annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Ball at the Helmsley Hotel is the place to be for defiantly unsentimental singles fighting to take back February 14th from the tyranny of the Hallmark Corporation and and the FTD industrial complex. It starts at 7pm with an hour-long open bar; once everyone is properly lubricated, the evening progresses to dinner, dancing and cathartic festivities that include a photo-op to “Make Exes Jealous with Your Own Personal Paparazzi and Model Entourage.” You’re encouraged to immediately send the photo to your particular ex via cell phone, thereby proving you’re totally, demonstrably over it! There will also be a Cupid-faced Satan ice sculpture, an opportunity to share break-up tales, shattered chocolate hearts and, what with all the jilted inebriated singles on hand, your best possible shot at some Anti-V Day rebound sex. – John Del Signore

7pm-10pm // New York Helmsley Hotel Ballroom [212 East 42nd St.] // Call (212) 405-4222 for reservations: $45 per person includes free hour of open bar and full menu. $75 for two (no couples).

EVENT: Brooklyn bookstore, Freebird, is kicking off their "monthly Post-Apocalyptic discussion group with a special A/V presentation of Ray Bradbury's classic short science fiction, There Will Come Soft Rains. Come listen to the '50s radio play version, watch a 9-minute Soviet animated adaptation, and hear about the forthcoming months' book and film selections." Read the story beforehand, here.

7:30 // Freebird [123 Columbia St, Brooklyn] // Free

MUSIC: Whether you're single or looking to make some last minute plans with someone, you can do no wrong with the Band of Horses/Dirty on Purpose show. The setting is even special, as the bands will take the stage at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple. Tickets still on sale!

8pm // Brooklyn Masonic Temple [317 Clermont Ave at Lafayette, Brooklyn] // $20

COMEDY: Laugh away your heartache tonight, or simply spend Valentine's Day LOL-ing with the one you love at Gabe and Jenny's comedy show. Their guests this week include Kristen Schaal Reggie Watts and Kurt Braunohler. AND it's at a place called Hugs. How precious is that?

9pm // Hugs [108 N 6th St, Williamsburg] // Free

THEATER: With her cookies, pasties and milk spiked with bourbon, burlesque star Anita Cookie seems like the ultimate host for a raucous and ribald Valentine’s Day party. Tonight’s extravaganza is part of her monthly Anita’s Underground Game Show; it’s described as "The Price Is Right with boobs and booze." Audience members are randomly selected for their shot at prizes like burlesque baked goods, pasties, a horse-drawn carriage ride in Central Park, free booze and hot sauce. Anita’s backed by her live band The Kindergarteners and joined by “drinking buddy” Gigi La Femme, who’s scheduled to “perform a secret special talent” for everyone in the underground. – John Del Signore

10:30pm // Under St. Marks [94 St. Marks Place] // Tickets cost $15.

BONUS TRACK: Brooklyn band The Cloud Room has recorded a fake 7" (you'll understand in a second) with two songs. One featuring punkster Allison Wolfe, of Partyline and Bratmobile, for a cover of Huggy Bear’s “February 14”. The other is Leonard Cohen’s “Memories” recorded with The Pierce’s Allison Pierce. Listen to it here.

More scientific Valentine's at Ironic Sans.

The listed events were chosen by Gothamist and brought to you by the Click Here2009 Toyota Corolla.