In the spirit of New Year's, these are the resolutions (damn you, Babylonians) on Gothamist's list for 2004:

• More meat
• Less "blog"
• More playing–hating
• Less regard for factual accuracy
• More attention to spelling and grammar
• Less big words or coherent sentences
• More Happy Hours
• Less embarrassing incidents caused by drinking
• More restraining orders
• More naked pictures of other bloggers
• Less friends


More specific resolutions come in the form of Jake resolving to get over feminine drinks like cosmopolitans and get into more masculine ones (martinis or manhattans) and Jen resolving to be less meddlesome, sanctimonious, and self–righteous. Both of which will require personality transplants or the jumbo pack series of electroshock therapy treatments, but, hey, it's a new year. Which makes us curious about what your resolutions, our dear readers, are.

And these are more objectives for 2004, rather than resolutions: (1) More pandas, cats, and other animals; (2) Sponsoring a Little League team; and (3) Meeting Jerry Orbach.

Happy 2004, everyone. Be merry, be safe.