When we woke up this morning, Gothamist hoped last night's Oscars were only a dream. Because the idea that Crash won still hurts our head so much that we haven't been able to really read all the nitty-gritty (because we know our eyes will start bleeding) - we can't believe we frigging liveblogged that shondah! Forget conspiracy theories about Jack Palance being wacked out and mistakenly reading Marisa Tomei's name as Best Supporting Actress in 1992 (maybe over Judy Davis) - this will bet he conspiracy theory to talk about for ages. Or maybe everyone in Hollywood really does love Don Cheadle, even though he wasn't allowed a producer credit at the Oscars. We don't know - and just to spite you, Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences, Gothamist will be attempting to only watch movies on DVD whenever possible - screw you and your horrible voting tactics. But we'll see you next year, with clenched teeth, some ibuprofen and a hotline to our shrink.

How are you feeling today? Revel in how terrible the Oscars were this year by checking out Cinecultist, Out of Focus, filmbrain, The Reeler, Eugene Hernandez, Anthony Kaufman, TV Squad, Movie City News, Dave Poland, Defamer and Hollywood Elsewhere. And here are the winners.