2007_02_oscarjlo.jpgIt's that time of the year again: When Hollywood honors its moviemaking the way it knows (and not always in equitable ways, given that Alfred Hitchcock nor Robert Altman, to name a few, have never won Directing Oscars) and America gets to watch hours of pre-show hosted by idiots. Giving commentary for Gothamist this year, Karen Wilson, Margaret Harper, and Jen Chung.

7:06PM First thoughts: Gael Garcia Bernal is so cute. Ryan Seacrest is an idiot, as are Joan and Melissa Rivers. But we want to know what Jennifer Lopez is wearing! (It turns out to be Marchesa.)

MH: J.Lo has bad old lady hair
JC: Her look is very retro. But she's into that.
MH: Kind of grecian heavy metal. But the color is nice on her....Maggie Gyllehall looks good, but I didn't see it close up.
JC: It's better on top than on bottom - it looks sort of old lady-ish.
KW: She would've done better with something where she could wear a bra.
JC: True, she has mommy boobs.

Steve Carrell tells Ryan Seacrest if Little Miss Sunshine doesn't win, he'll have a conniption fit. But then he says he thinks The Departed will win.

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MH: ahhh, celine dion!!!! side boob, not cool
KW: wow, melissa rivers' hair is really dark
JC: celine showsing side boob?
MH: yeah, very loose wrap style dress, open sides. bad when she turns
JC: ugh
MH: yeah, in my opinion, side boob and under boob are just not meant to be shared.
KW: like tax returns

2007_02_oscarjessbiel.jpg7:17PM: Yuck, Ryan Seacrest was showing off his underwear right as Helen Mirren was headed to chat with him. Rude! Helen is holding a mini Union Jack flag, wearing a golden-neutral lace gown that's a little froufy but very age-appropriate.

JC: hmm, kirsten dunst, cute dress, a little fussy, but interesting
MH: biel has side-boob too
JC: a little fussy, but interesting
MH: i thought it looked like an ice skating costume!
JC: i think most of america would lke to see jessica biel's side boob
MH: more so than celine anyway
JC: Rinko Kikuchi is very va-va-voom, versus being more whimsical at Golden Globes

MH: ok, gwyneth might be my favorite, a coral color very pleated gown, demure, wee fit
JC: i only say the top - but she's got very straight hair
JC: Aha, gwyneth is wearing zac posen

7:36PM Let's take a break from the fashion and talk about Martin Scorsese. He's the favorite to win Best Director tonight, and it's about time. He's nominated six times for director (Raging Bull, The Last Temptation of Christ, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed). He has two other Oscar nominations for co-writing the screenplays of Goodfellas and The Age of Innocence). And he's lost to actor-directors three times - in 1981 against Robert Redford (Ordinary People), in 1991 with Kevin Costner (Dances with Wovlves), and in 2005 with Clint Eastwood winning for Million Dollar Baby.

JC: Ooh, Nicole Kidman is wearing red. She looks amazing.
JC: I love Cate Blanchett - she's wearing Armani Prive.
MH: I love Kate Winslet's dress. Similar in cut to Gyllenhaal, though.
JC: But Kate's is one color and less fussy - more elegant.

7:40PM On the red carpet, Clint Eastwood and.... Sumner Redstone. If Tom Cruise is here, the shit will hit the fan!

MH: kidman in red with watts in yellow...very crayola
JC: heh - i think kidman looks striking in the red
MH: yeah, but they should not stand together
JC: karen, do you believe the eddie murphy backlash?
KW: i do. i think it's very real.
KW: as much as i thought he was great in dreamgirls, can they really give an oscar to the man who made Norbet?
JC: yeah...ah, i see your predix on Cinecultist
2007_02_oscarsmark.jpgJC: wow, you think marky mark will win?
KW: yes, i've thrown my vote in with him
MH: i love him
KW: he's wonderful in that movie.
MH: but i also had the funky bunch album on cassette
KW: awesome
MH: yeah, he was good
JC: kate winslet just corrected ryan seacrest's pronunication of "ricky gervais"
KW: she talks about rubbing her husband's oscar on an episode of extras. it's hilarious

MH: and jennifer hudson - good dress, bad jacket. gold lame or something
JC: at least it can be taken off.. and there are pockets on the dress!
MH: i am into pockets on gowns...though for someone "not small" it is prob unnecessary bulk

8:00PM ABC's Road the Oscar Pre Show starts with a Happy Feet intro. We're surprised, because ABC is a Disney-house. But it's actually a montage sequence that alludes to various nominated films - guys dressed in Borat thongs on the beach, a car from Cars, a VW van being pushed by people. And now it's Chris Connelly interviewing Leonardo DiCaprio. DiCap talks about how conflict diamonds are a big topic and it's important to mention it (and rare that a studio film .

Lisa Ling interviews Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts - Watts is showing (she's pregnant with Liev Shreiber's baby!). But what we're really waiting for is this: Andre Leon Talley talking about fashion. Now there's a montage of of Jennifer Hudson shopping with Andre, going to Oscar de la Renta for her dress and jacket.

KW: Andre wore gloves while shopping! I love this man!
KW: Wait, that segment with andre leon talley shopping with jennifer hudson? talk about ass kissing. unbelievable!
MH: "People's princess."
JC: Is Princess Diana rolling in her grave?
JC: Eddie Murphy is wearing a blue tux. Which reminds me of Father of the Bride when Steve Martin buys a blue tux.
MH: Djimon Honsou is in brown.

8:11PM Hey, it's snowing! Connelly interviews Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz, and the whole Smith/Pinkett-Smith family get the Talley treatment. Talley is tall! Lisa Ling interviews Eddie Murphy, and he's very subdued. But he's funny - he says he likes all his movies, even Pluto Nash.

Hilarious segment on Ryan Gosling - there's a montage showing his career, which started on the Mickey Mouse Club. Conelly notes he's "rolling large," as Gosling's there with his mom and sister. Gosling says, "I feel like Snoop!"

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KW: I love Ryan Gosling. Have you guys seen Half Nelson? it's totally brilliant. and made in Brooklyn!
JC: He and Shareeka Epps won Independent Spirit Awards.
KW: if they were going to honor a tiny indie, half nelson would've been better than little miss sunshine
JC: Definitely. That's a real indie - what's the purpose of the Independent Spirit Awards?
JC: god, i love kate winslet
KW: she's wonderful. she's one of those stars that you wish you could be friends with and hang out drinking tea
MH: definitely...i want to have her kids come be friends with mine

8:27PM Andre Leon Talley rattles off dresses he likes. It's going by too quickly, but he obviously picks Jennifer Hudson's Oscar de la Renta, Kirsten Dunst, Cate Blanchett's Armani Prive, Mark Wahlberg in Armani... Gwyneth Paltrow, we think.

KW: andre, dude, don't give up the day job. tv is not your medium.
MH: yeah. his. delivery. lacked. flow.
KW: i haven't seen such a wooden interviewer on the red carpet since roger ebert. who literally drooled on every starlet
JC: and at least ebert knows about film, though!
MH: andre knows fashion. he is fashion. he's just not natural on camera
MH: does most of the country recognize who he is? he WAS on oprah, but still...

8:30PM The show starts! With an Errol Morris montage of all the nominees! Awesome!

KW: i love that they're including all of these nominees who are from various categories that aren't recognizable
JC: i would love an annotated version of this to see who is who
JC: peter morgan is funny!
MH: ha, some of it is funny
JC: hee - excited and confused about being nominated!
KW: stone faced eddie
MH: eddie murphy!
KW: hilarious!
JC: philip glass
KW: stan brakhage name check!
JC:this is the best opening in years and years
MH: very humanizing
KW: so good. it makes me happy to love the movies. the movies are noble
MH: right, not self aggrandizing, but kind of humble...
KW: everyone is kissing each other and saying hi.

2007_02_oscarsellen.jpg8:35PM Ellen DeGeneres is on! It's her usual slightly nervous stream of consciousness schtick, which is charming at times. But when she talks about how this is the most international Oscars, she says something about record nominations from Mexico and refers to Penelope Cruz... who is Spanish. Uh oh.

But this is a crowd pleaser: She talks about how America didn't vote for Jennifer Hudson on American Idol, but here she is... then America voted for Al Gore, and here he is.


MH: song...i told you!!!!
JC: musical segment... gospel choir...oh no.
KW: ellen does love to dance
JC: but this is terrible. the stars are confused!
KW: totally bizarre
MH: could be worse, you could be there having to smile for the cameras

8:45PM: First presenters, Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman, for Art Direction. The winner is Pan's Labyrinth. Yay, a wonderful film.

Maggie Gyllenhaal comes out to announce the previously-awarded scientific awards. And then there's a weird cut away to the commercials - dancers through a scrim who form an Oscar, and then cut to the announcers.

KW: what was that?
JC: that was a weird cutaway
KW: tumbling and then an oscar statue..odd
MH: they entertain the audience?
JC: who knows
JC: no acting awards in the first segment? that's annoying. However, since the opening was so good, I'll forgive it.

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8:52PM Will Ferrell singing! He's totally rocking a 'fro. And it's an amazing musical satire about how Oscars also ignore comedies! Jack Black joins in with the singing, and they start talking about messing with nominees. Like, Jack makes fun of Leonardo dating supermodels. Will says, "Ryan Gosling, you're hip and now... but I'm going to break your hip now." Ha! Then Will starts to say something to Mark Wahlberg, but thinks better of it, because "you're actually tough." Then John C. Reilly is in the audience and tells them how to work on their career! We can't wait until it's on YouTube.

And the three now present the nominees for Make Up. The winner is Pan's Labyrinth, which makes it two for two! But this is cheap - the winners' speech is cut short, but then there's a backstage schtick with Ellen joking about how Judi Dench's knee surgery is on her knees.

2007_02_oscarsabja.jpg9PM Supporting Actress nominee Abigail Breslin and Pursuit of Happyness co-star Jaden Chris-something Smith banter and present Best Animated Short. Jaden messes up a little, but he's so adorable, it's cool. The winner is The Danish Poet, apparently narrated by Liv Ullman.

Now the award for Best Short. Jaden tries reading the winner, but stumbles, making us wonder about his reading. The winner is West Bank Story, which is a musical somedy about two falafel stands run by Jews and Palestinians.

JC: did they cut away to gwyneth because she's half jewish?
MH: haha...they lit her like a deity...unless she really just looks like that
KW: isn't she? she's my patron saint

There's a clip of the making of Letters of Iwo Jima, and then a commercial. In Gothamist's estimation, this is the longest the telecast has gone without a major award being presented.

9:10PM A demonstration of sound effects and editing work by way of a human choir making effects to infamous clips - like the chariot race in Ben-Hur, the plane leaving in Casablanca, rain in Singin' in the Rain, dancing and rat-a-tat in Chicago.

Steve Carrell and Greg Kinnear present the Oscar for sound editing, with double entendre-laced humor and even a "sound glitch."

JC: These are two funny guys.
MH: Both excellent straight men.

The winner is the team for the Letters From Iwo Jima; one of the sound editors' father was a Marine survivor of Iwo Jima. It's sad, one sound editor gets to make a thank you, the other is cut off.

Jessica Biel and James McAvoy come out to present the sound mixing Oscar to Dreamgirls. One of fun facts mentioned on the PA is that Michael Minkler's son was a mixer for Babel. The mixers thank Dreamgirls director Bill Condon (snubbed).

9:21PM Rachel Weisz, wearing a lovely silver gown, comes out! Finally, an acting award! She describes what each of the supporting actors nominees had to do for their roles. And the winner is.... Alan Arkin for LIttle Miss Sunshine! The Eddie Murphy backlash was real. Arkin's win could be interpreted as an acknowledgement of his long career - recently, he was particularly great in Thirteen Conversations About One Thing

Ellen DeGeneres walks through the aisle of the audience. She gives Martin Scorsese screenplay that she happened to have - it's "Goodfellas meets Big Momma's House. Goodmommas." Then she announces the dance troupe Pilobolus who will be interpreting some of the nominated films.

MH: interpretative dance eludes me
KW: it makes me tired

9:29PM Show is back, with a montage of the second Best Picture nominee, The Departed. The actors discuss the film and the making of. An interesting approach, whereas in other years, usually there's a just a clip. We guess Oscars producer Laura Ziskin is putting her stamp on the show!

Randy Newman plays the piano and James Taylor sings for Newman's Best Song-nominated ditty from the movie Cars. The song is called Our Town, and the opening bars sound like Your Song by Elton John. Now, Melissa Etheridge is singing the song fromAn Inconvenient Truth, and what's awesome is that behind her, it's all these tips, like "When you can, walk or bicycle. When you can, take light rail or mass transit." It's great, and the Oscars get a huge audience, but it's slightly insane, too.

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Now, Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio are on stage. DiCap talks about how awesome Al Gore is and asks if he wants to announce anything. Har de har har. Gore talks about how the Oscars are green (find out at Oscar.com)... then DiCap asks him again if he wants to announce anything. Gore starts to say something, then the music plays him off.

9:41PM Ellen says since the Oscars are green, they want her to recycle jokes from earlier in her career, like one about Gilligan's Island. "Mrs. Howell brought a fur coat? Why would you bring a fur coat on a fishing trip?" Heh.

Cameron Diaz comes out to present the Best Animated Film Oscar. We're split on her dress.

JC: i actually kinda like her dress..i don't like the flap
MH: can't get on board with it
KW: cameron tries very hard to be cute
MH: bad wedding dress vibe

2007_02_oscarsmiller.jpgThe Best Animated Film is Happy Feet - yay, George Miller.

A constipated looking Ben Affleck introduces a Nancy Meyers-directed montage of writers on film. The clip goes FOREVER. Then Helen Mirren and Tom Hanks come out to present Best Adapted Screenplay. They read the screenplay's direction over a clip of the movie.

KW: i love how whenever borat is announced, they have to say the entire super long title

And the Oscar goes to William Monahan for The Departed. The announcer says the film is based on the Japanese film, Infernal Affairs, which is wrong, as Infernal Affairs is a film from Hong Kong.

JC: Wait. did they say infernal affairs was japanese?
MH: yes
KW: dumbasses

Monahan is amazed that he's at the same Academy Awards as Peter O'Toole. He does thank the writers of Infernal Affairs.

Before cutting to commercial, Chris Connelly is backstage, showing how the Oscars can be a horserace. He runs into Monahan, Mirren, and Hanks just as he's saying how much more fun the show will be and asks Hanks, "Isn't that right?" (or something). Hanks is game!

KW: tom hanks aw shucks earnest: "you bet chris. more fun." awesome
JC: that's why they pay him the big bucks
KW: it's all about the timing baby

9:59PM Ellen comes out in a white suit, wearing a baby Bjorn - aka "Ellen Bjorn" - because there's no podium to put the Oscar once winners get them.

Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt come out to present Best Costume Design and play off their Devil Wears Prada roles, pretending they needed to get Meryl Streep a capuccino. Meryl pretends to look aghast - she's so awesome. Anyway, onto the nominations, and what's great is that there are actors/models in the actual costumes. The last time we can recall costumes onstage at the Oscars is 17 years ago, where Paula Abdul choreographed dancers in the costumes. Per the amazing "Inside Oscar" by Damien Bona and Mason Wiley, Paula Abdul's dancers for the Costume Oscar presentation were unanimously criticized for their inappropriateness, particularly when "Hoke" breakdanced and a jitterbugging "Miss Daisy" was lifted in the air and opened her legs to the audience.

JC: Awesome. it's been a while since we've seen the actual costumese
KW: much better than the usual line sketches
KW: it must be fun for the "regular folks" to dress in these costumes
MH: Nice touch.

Milena Canonero wins for her work in Marie Antoinette. She's wearing a suit, and thanks Francis Ford Coppola for introducing her to Sofia Coppola during the making of The Cotton Club (she calls Marie Antoinette "a poem").

10:05PM Tom Cruise comes out! Hilarious, he's presenting the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award to former Paramount head, Sherry Lansing. That's one in the eye to you, Sumner.

Another Ellen in the aisle segment. This time, she says hi to Beyonce, but zeroes in on Clint Eastwood. Clint's very feisty, thanking her for headphones someone at her company sent him and asking if he's getting a script, too. But Ellen actually just wants a picture for MySpace. She gets Steven Spielberg to take not one but two photographs.

Gwyneth Paltrow mentions the use of cellphones and YouTube before presenting the Cinematrography Oscar. Next year, the host will have to liveblog! Anyway, the winner is Guillermo Navarro for Pan's Labyrinth. All the attention for it, we're surprised it wasn't nominated for Best Picture.

10:19PM Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. present the award for Visual Effects. It goes to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men's Chest - that Bill Nighy as Davy Jones Starfish face was creepy! But let this be said: When Robert Downey Jr. reads banter, it sounds good!

2007_02_deneuve.jpgCatherine Deneuve and Ken Watanabe come to present a Best Foreign Film winner montage by Cinema Paradiso director Giuseppe Tornatore. But we're entranced by Deneuve's outfit.

KW: catherine deneuve, there's no one like her
MH: whoa...bloody broach? am i missing something? is it like an aids ribbon?
JC: it's a statement!
KW: i think it's fashion
MH: ok, as long as its not something i should have known about...like a live strong bracelet

Then Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett come out to present the Best Foreign Film Oscar to The Lives of Others, somewhat of a surprise. The Hollywood Reporter's Anne Thompson Riskey Biz Blog had the Live of Others' director's speech at the Independent Spirit Awards, which we thought was very apt:

10. As usual, German director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck cut to the chase when he advised up-and-coming filmmakers, while accepting his award for best foreign film for The Lives of Others, "Follow your own voice. Don't make a film by committee. There's a simple way to get that done: downscale the budget. When you work on a small budget the people you are working with are not in it for the money. They're fine with being exploited as long as you're exploiting yourself."

10:33PM George Clooney. We swoon. Jennifer Hudson wins Best Supporting Actress for Dreamgirls.
KW: she really is amazing in that movie. she totally steals the whole thing.
MH: without the jacket, she looks good.
JC: so is she the most famous person from american idol, or is kelly clarkson, clay aiken or william hung?
2007_02_oscarshudson.jpgMH: I say her now.
KW: you'd think after all of these months of build up, she'd have a bit more of a thing prepared
MH: then kelly
KW: oops, almost forgot jennifer holliday. talk about bitter, that lady is cranky
JC: it was a sweet speech.
KW: she's a talented girl. hopefully she won't get the best supporting actress curse, ie. never ever doing anything as good again
MH: it will be interesting to see if she can maintain. yeah, does she sing or act...i feel like when they do both it never works out really
JC: i think it'll be hard as a singer... i don't know if there's a huge interest in big belting r&b singing - remember fantasia?
MH: with a few exceptions of course...and yeah, what happened to her?

10:40PM Babel montage. Followed by Eva Green and Gael Garcia Bernal, who looks adorable in glasses. They present the Documentary Short Oscar to The Blood Of Yingzhou District, about a Chinese orphan with AIDS.

Which makes it jarring when Jerry Seinfeld comes out to present the Bst Documentary award. He does a schtick about documentaries and going to movies. (Yet another audience shot of Jack Nicholson, who is bald for a movie role. He sort of looks like Rod Steiger!) Seinfeld basically justifies littering at movie theaters - we wonder how Larry David's wife, Laurie David, who is very involved with the NRDC, would feel about that! And the winner is An Inconvenient Truth. Director Davis Guggenheim brings up Al Gore, Laurie David, Lawrence Bender, and others. Brief standing ovation. Cutaway to Larry David, and when we go back to Al Gore onstage, we see he has lipstick on his face. That Tipper loves him!

Ooh, the ocarina from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It's Ennio Morricone tribute time, with Clint Eastwood starting the tribute. Eastwood stumbles a bit ("I shoulda worn my glasses") but that's okay, because Morricone's music is what we care about. It's pretty surprisng that he's never won an Oscar. But we're not sure Oscar should have paid tribute to Ennio Morricone by making everyone hear the premiere of his song I Knew I Loved You as sung by Celine Dion! Eep. Anyway, Ennio Morricone comes out and he makes a speech in Italian, much to the confusion to the audience, but Clint translates. His speech is very gracious and beautiful. Also, it seems that the Morricones have been sitting next to Quincy Jones - and Rashida Jones is there too!

11:06PM Hugh Jackman, looking dashing, and Penelope Cruz, looking frothily beautiful in Versace, are presenting Best Original Score. Cruz's voice breaks a little as she happily announces the winner is Gustavo Santolalla for Babel.

Ellen makes her first reference to Jack Nicholson. It's not an awards show if Jack isn't there! Ther'es a funny sped-up montage of Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences Sid Ganis telling what the Academy does in less than one minute.

KW: i've been to those student academy award ceremonies, the academy has good food
JC: heh
KW: lots of shrimp

11:11PM Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire come out to the music of Spider Man 3 (Spider Man 3 opens May 4). They are presenting Best Original Screenplay, which goes to... Michael Arndt for Little Miss Sunshine. Arndt, former assistant to Matthew Broderick, tells the audience how his family did drive hundreds of miles in a VW bus.

11:20PM Okay, coffee, we need it. Jennifer Lopez introduces a medley of songs from Dreamgirls - with dancers! Jennifer Hudson sings first, in a sparkly red gown that's more flattering than her brown Oscar de la Renta gown. And it seems like she'sthiscloseto a wardrobe malfunction after leaning forward. When Beyonce appears, it looks like Jennifer tries to readjust. Beyonce performs Listen, and then Anika Noni Rose appears and the medley ends with all Dreamgirls, a gospel choir and other actors from the film.

11:28PM Queen Latifah and John Travolta, co-starring in the upcoming Hairspray, banter, with John travolta. They present Best Song to.. Melissa Etheridge for The Inconvenient Truth song. We suppose the three Dreamgirls songs nominated did cancel each other out.

JC: This might end at, what, 11:45PM?
KW: uh oh, my tivo just stopped tivoing..i guess 11:45. in the past they've tried harder to keep it all moving along on time...not this year though
JC: Last year, they were doing Best Picture at 11:22PM - what the hell?
KW: did you say it was a new producer this year?
JC: Yeah, laura ziskin. Wait, she did the telecast 5 years ago.

11:34PM Little Miss Sunshine montage. Then Will Smith comes out to present another (yes, another!) montage - this one by Michael Mann of "America through the movies." And the first music is from Ennio Morricone's score from Days of Heaven.

KW dear god not another one
JC: i love montages, but this is nuts
JC: this is indulgent
KW: serious overkill
JC: mann had such a long clip of ali
KW: he's no dummy
JC: where is borat?
KW: do all of these really have to do with america?
JC it's a little jingoistic, no?
KW: other than being american made movies?
JC: it's been like four minutes!
JC: crap, they didn't even do the dead people montage!
KW: reminded by the shot of james brown
JC: um, yeah

11:41PM Kate Winslet comes out to present the Oscar for Film Editing. Which goes to Thelma Schoonmaker, her third Oscar working with Martin Scorsese. And they met at NYU Film School! She won 2 years ago for The Aviator and 26 years ago for Raging Bull.

KW: Marty's totally crying. So adorable.
JC: He's emotional. WHen he wins, he'll totally sob.

11:44PM Jodie Foster presents the montage of notable deaths, also mentioning that her best friend Randy Stone died (Stone was a casting director who won an Oscar for best short film in 1995). The deceased include Sven Nykvist, Don Knotts, Betty Comden, Joe Barbera, Tamara Dobson, June Allyson, Gordon Parks, Philippe Noiret, Maureen Stapleton, Vincent Sherman, James Doohan, Shohei Imamura, Carlo Ponti, Peter Boyle, Sidney Sheldon, Jack Palance, Mako, Jack Warden, Jay Presson Allen, and Robert Altman. A tribute to Japanese director Imamura will start at BAM this Friday.

2007_02_helen.jpg11:52PM Ellen DeGeneres jokes that she's ending the show. We wish! Philip Seymour Hoffman, who sounds totally bored, present the Best Actress award to Helen Mirren, who is as charming as ever. She thanks Queen Elizabeth and raises her Oscar to her.

JC: the interpretative dance has been sucking moments from the telecast
KW: and just sucking
KW: is this the night when we'll ever get to go to bed?
KW: jeez
JC: apparently, they want the oscars to last forever
JC: i don't think the oscars have been this long in the new 8:30pm start format
KW: yea worst time line in years
JC: there are some nice things - i like the presentation of nominees where they explain what went into making them
JC: but too much banter, too many montages, too much schtick
JC: i dunno, i know ellen going into the audience is important to make it interesting for the audience but the audience also just wants to know who will win the big awards, so they are really stringing us along
KW: but every little bit just dragged a touch too long and it all added up
JC: yeah, definitely

12:00AM God, it's a new day! Now Ellen comes out to vaccuum the floor. Which is funny, but we want to just keep going. Reese Witherspoon comes out to present the third to last award, Best Actor. Forest Whitaker wins - and Peter O'Toole looks sad in the split screen of nominees. Forest gives a beautiful speech about being drawn to acting because he wanted to connect to people.

12:07AM Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg saunter out to present Best Director. Steven start out by saying how they all know great it is to win an Oscar, but then George Lucas says, wait, I've never won one. Funny, Francis and Steven smackdown George, but let's face it, George probably has more money than the two of them combined.

2007_02_oscarmarty.jpgThe winner is that boy frm the Lower East Side, Martin Scorsese.
KW: and the room erupts in cheers:
JC: you know, i wonder if they knew marty was going to win so they got his fellow raging bulls and easy riders to present to him
KW: it wouldn't be surprising. it was another one of those fore gone conclusions
JC: oh, he didn't cry
KW: i like it when parents tell their kids to go to bed from the podium

Martin gets a standing ovation and lots of cheering. Everyone is thrilled. He asks Francis, George and Steven to check the envelope. He's thrilled, and then when he goes offstage, he hugs Jack Nicholson, who is there to present Best Picture.

12:11AM Montage for The Queen, the final Best Picture nominee. Which means Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton can come out and present the Best Picture award.

JC: jack nicholson presented best pic last year, didn't he? is that his role at the oscars?
JC: Diane Keaton, she looks fabulous - and she's sooooo skinny
JC: but i saw because i said so and that movie is evil
KW: i'm still supposed to see it with my friend who i always see mandy moore movies with

The winner is...The Departed! Wow - somewhat of surprise, but, like Babel, though in a different way, it was also an ensemble film.

JC: so what do you think of this year's oscars?
KW: there really weren't any movies honored that i didn't feel like they deserved it
KW: the telecast was way too long but whatevs
KW: i wish letters from iwo jima got something
JC: yeah,i'm glad little miss sunshine didn't get best picture
KW: me too. i would've been mad
JC: i would have liked more for volver and children of men
KW: me too. i loved those movies as well
JC: but the acting categories were pretty deep, which is reassuring unlike past years, where there are few good roles for women
KW: best actress was filled with great performances
JC: i also hope people will see little children

Okay, we're out - we're exhausted and may have nightmares of interpretative dance. But tell us what you thought of the Oscars.