Oprah hasn't seen Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark yet, but she did see a few rehearsals before the blood started pouring and, like Glenn Beck, she just lurved it. In this month's O, Ms. Winfrey runs a long chat with director Julie Taymor (we'll get to that in a second) in which she tells her readers that after seeing just a few numbers—she'd been hanging out with Bono and he asked her over—she "called [her] office and told them to clear the decks for opening night: 'I have to be there!'" We hope her people didn't mind moving her schedule around, hopefully March 15 will stick.

Anyway. What did we learn about Broadway's most-expensive musical today? Well, Taymor reiterates her Spider-Man myth (she had a dream about Arachne and decided that what she really wanted to do was shoehorn a Greek myth onto a comic book superhero) and gives a slightly more coherent argument for the second act than was apparent on stage (which is still too silly to get into here). The most interesting reveal though was as to who Taymor thinks Peter Parker really is. He's an "everyboy...when I thought about Bono and his life, I went, 'Oh my God—there's Peter Parker, right there.'" Right? Spider-Man, just "trying to have a normal existence like Bono and all these rockers." Though really, if she wants to be true to the character (which she doesn't), shouldn't she have said Hannah Montana?