Syfy's Sharknado was the TV movie event of the year, maybe even of the decade, taking social media by, uh, storm and inspiring countless breathless odes to its greatness. It also inspired a lot of people to try to figure out whether this event—which obviously could not happen in real life—could happen in real life. And the NY Post are perhaps most giddy at the prospect of a real life Sharknado—excuse me, a Sharkicane.

You see, even the Post thinks Sharknado is a ridiculous fantasy—but a Sharkicane is scary! That's something to actually be worried about! And they will twist as many marine biologist arms that they have to for quotes that make something that is not remotely possible sound remotely possible: “Hurricanes can carry huge volumes of water with them 20 or 30 feet over land — and whatever happens to be in that water does get transported along,” marine biologist Joe Yaiullo, of the Long Island Aquarium, told them.

“This would certainly be unusual, although not beyond the realm of possibility,” they quoted Christopher Dold, vice president of veterinary services at SeaWorld, as saying.

Seriously, just read this lede:

If a raging hurricane were to strike New York City, it could suck up sharks and other sea creatures — triggering a Sharkicane, a horrifying real-life twist on the campy hit flick “Sharknado,” marine biologists warn.


A spokesman for the city’s Office of Emergency Management tried his best to dash their hopes: “We don’t plan for fictional events,” said Christopher Miller. “There’s a zero probability of sharks raining down on New York.” But he's not a marine biologist! And also, he never said anything about the probability of Ian Ziering taking a chainsaw to a shark. Hope abides.