(Photo via helloturkeytoe's flickr)

MEOW—it's mid-August, and the NY Post has come a trollin' with an articlestory inflammatory overflowing colostomy bag called "Hey, ladies—catcalls are flattering! Deal with it." In this report—which is literally filed under "SEXUAL HARASSMENT"—writer, "professional ponderer," and this month's Top Troll Doree Lewak sets women back 1000 years in exchange for a little attention, and in turn, a widely read newspaper seems to be endorsing sexual harassment, surprising no one.

For Ms. Lewak, summer is all about walking past a construction site in a skimpy dress and sky-high heels in hopes of getting a whistle, or anything that will inflate her ego. (We regret to inform you that isn't hyperbole.) Like a vampire seeking blood, these empty sex cries fill Lewak up with a false sense of life to keep her going. And when not being catcalled, Lewak fuels herself through past catcalls, waxing nostalgic for specific hoots and hollers from her more youthful days—"At age 20, wearing a tightly molded pink tank top and black capris, I strolled by two construction guys on a lunch break. 'You’re hot!' they shouted, high-fiving one another. I was over the moon."

This is all so sad.

And hey, "young women of Vassar," Ms. Lewak will have you know that her fetishizing of catcalls is okay because she wants to be "that objectified sex thing for them." And hey, young history majors of Vassar, Lewak wants you to know "the catcall stretches back to ancient construction times, when the Israelites were building the pyramids, with scores of single Jewish women hiking up their loincloths, hoping for a little attention."

Did we mention this piece comes with photos? As you can see, she is properly smiling in them, as a well trained piece of street furniture should be.

In 2008, Lewak wrote a book about "surviving smug married friends," and according to Wikipedia critics found her "insistence that women should make matrimony a goal, 'repulsive,' and criticized Lewak for 'reinforcing negative stereotypes.'" So, nothing new to see here, but an undeniable victory for Lewak's personal brand and her inevitable "Calling All Catcalls" book deal/Showtime series.