With the opening of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Gothamist takes the opportunity to say thank God it was not made with Ricky Martin and Natalie Portman in the leading roles, because our eyes might bleed in four different colors. But at least the mention of Dirty Dancing makes us think of the original 1987 film. Pre-nose job Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze...Jerry Orbach and Kelly Bishop at the disapproving parents...a cheesy song by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warren, and an even cheesier one sung by Patrick Swayze. As Salon's Curtis Sittenfeild elegantly says, as describing why DD is the best girl movie ever, "And while other girl movies have become phenomena -- 'Pretty Woman,' 'Clueless,' 'Bring It On' -- none of them feature hook-nosed heroines planning to enter the Peace Corps." May we carry watermelons today and tomorrow!

The Times' Elvis Mitchell writes "'Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights' is a movie set in a mythological time-warp village with no poor people, where nobody smokes and all the music seems to have been produced by Dallas Austin for a Black Eyed Peas album. Evidently 1958 Havana is the land where tolerance and hip-hop were invented. Oh, and some peasants got together to samba around a young, hot couple as a regime that still raises questions was just getting started."

Buy Dirty Dancing, the Ultimate Edition, on DVD.