Many Steely Dan fans—and even more casual listeners—can stomach the duo's hit single "FM," which Donald Fagen and Walter Becker were commissioned to write by Universal Pictures as the theme song to the 1978 movie FM. I'm not one of them. Sure, I liked "FM" enough the first five hundred or so times I heard it, but as a kid who grew up listening to classic rock stations, trust me when I say that "FM" wore real thin over time. Yes, Becker has a good guitar solo, but on the whole it's a mildly irritating paycheck ditty—especially that chorus. "No static at aaaallllll ffffffffff YOUUU M" That part is surely an ironic commentary on garbage pop music dominating the airwaves, but it's still a Chorus to Cringe to...

Anyway, of all the tremendous songs in the Dan catalog, "FM" has been chosen as the soundtrack for a special light show tomorrow (Thursday) night on the Empire State Building. Nope, not "Deacon Blues," not "Sign in Stranger," not "Dr. Wu." Open wide for "FM," a piece of music that's only ever been good for two things: Steely Dan's bank account, and giving you a jump on everyone else getting out of the Jones Beach parking lot.

Why, WHY? The press release holds the answer: "World-renowned lighting designer Marc Brickman will choreograph the lights to Steely Dan’s 'FM' to commemorate the 139th International Audio Engineering Society Convention and the 50th Anniversary of the Master FM Antenna, first constructed and used at the Empire State Building in 1965." Blah blah blah no static at AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!

The show starts at 7 p.m. sharp and will be posted to ESB’s YouTube page immediately after so you can send the link to your uncle Mitch. To experience it in real life with the music, tune into 101.1 FM as you're stomping the avenue by Radio City with a transistor and a large sum of money to spend. Or just enjoy the pretty light show while listening to "Any Major Dude." Man, that is such a better song.