Cabbage Patch creator Xavier Roberts has created some celebrity versions of his dolls, which people can bid on at eBay (the money raised goes to the Children’s Action Network). The only problem is: they're kind of scarier than clowns. Or ghosts. Or the movie Poltergeist.* And just like in that movie, your parents are going to be too high on marijuana to help you when this thing goes in for the attack. Which it will.

The celebs who got the doll treatment are an odd bunch: Katherine Heigl, Steven Tyler (presumably with teeth), Kristin Chenoweth, Raven-Symoné and Al Roker. The current bidding ranges from $255 (Roker) to $750 (Kristin Chenoweth), should you be interested in adding to your scary doll collection.

*The author of this post finds these things terrifying thanks to a screening of Poltergeist at a very young age. It's being worked out in therapy.