A new website, called How Not To Be A Tourist, has launched in Beta, and promises to further the discussion on how to act when visiting another city. In their intro text, they mention Sex and the City 2, breakdancers in the East Village, and they spell neighborhoods in a suspiciously non-NYC way: "neighbourhoods." We asked the creators of the site where they're from, and unsurprisingly, the one who wrote back is from Singapore, and says the team is "from all over."
Their Do's & Don'ts list is hit or miss, but we're assured it was written by someone "who lived in New York for an extensive amount of time," and the "content was vetted by local New Yorker's just to ensure they were sharp...and relevant." Let's take a look, shall we? Their "Do" tips include:
- Complain about gentrification in every neighborhood, even if you are walking past a housing project deep in East Brooklyn.
- Go to Pitchfork.com and check out an event. Pick something free, and with the words "avant-garde," "phantasmagoria," or “hard to define” in the description.
- Try to look bored/miserable/important at all times.
And on to the "Don't" tips:
- Don’t be seen stumbling on the cobbled stone streets in Meatpacking draped off the arm of a friend shouting, “Taxi!”. Unless you are female, tall, wearing a trenchcoat, and very hot. And the arm is of a built rich man.
- Don’t prance out of a 42nd street theatre singing. If you must, sing in silence.
- Don’t take a photo in Times Square, of yourself, of others or of buildings. The one exception is if you happen to witness police brutality, even then, you should be taking a video instead. Upload to Youtube immediately.
Okay, that last one was alright, though they should add, "remember to keep the camera horizontal!" But as for the others, how do you think they did at capturing the tone of the local schooling the tourist? And are we really not allowed to yell "taxi!" when trying to drunkenly flee the Meatpacking District? And do you guys all live in really nice apartments like this?