For over a century, man has stared out at the foot of an oceanic abyss in the Rockaways, inhaling the salt-perfumed air, hearing the waves crash against the shore*, and wondered: why can't I be inside a boutique hotel in the Meatpacking District right now? This Summer 2K13, that nagging desire will be sated by The Playland Motel, a hotel/bar/restaurant/boutique for the urban beachgoer who probably didn't want to go to the beach in the first place.

The developers' goal was to "merge urban hipster demands with universal beach culture." The folks at, ahem, Société Perrier, have some details:

Founded by Williamsburg trendsetters Robin Scott and Jamie Wiseman of Output, along with Diagio Galazio and Eduardo Suarez of El Almacen and Rosarito's Fish Shack; The Playland Motel will be home to 12 seasonal rentals, three bars, two restaurants, a 7,000 square foot indoor/outdoor bar and a boutique. Most importantly, Playland will be one of the few fully licensed outdoor areas in the Rockaways, giving you everything you could want in a weekend.

Everything but subtlety.

The Post notes that the restaurants at Playland, which is named after the amusement park which one stood on the spot, will include a 50-seat diner and a "casual" pizza joint. The motel won't be open until the "July 4th festivities," but it seems that people have been drinking on its patio already.

The Rockabus might someday take patrons from Battery Harris in Williamsburg straight to Playland, but we'd advise taking the ferry while it's still $2 per trip.

*Yes, fine, "firmament" means sky, but also a sphere of beachgoers, which, fine, doesn't make much sense. Poetry is dead.