In case watching the screeching TV "lawyer" Nancy Grace dance wasn't mordant enough, viewers of Dancing with the Stars last night were treated to a view of her areola. "On the European version, that would be absolutely fine," host Tom Bergeron joked. Dammit this is America: NO NUDITY! Pouring alcohol down the gullets of soulless semi-nudes so that they may engage in adulterous coitus on an island literally constructed for inequity? Totally FCC-approved.
But Nancy Grace's "wardrobe malfunction" last night was not part of the "sexual act" of dancing, as CBS alleges, but a "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" moment for faithful viewers of the program. As Psalm 73:18 warns those who tune into ABC every Tuesday night, "Surely thou didst set them in slippery places; thou castedst them down into destruction." Nothing is more slippery than a nip slip. We're all damned to hell! If only they had secured someone wholesome to be on the show, like President Clinton, we wouldn't be in this mess.