The Christmas tree carcasses haven't yet begun to litter the curb but soon their branches, like your holiday spirit, will begin to droop as we slog our way into the rest of winter. Instead of dumping your murdered tree on the street with the rest of your dead hookers landfill-bound trash, bring it to this year's MulchFest, where its ground up parts can live on as insulation for our city's living trees, lining the bottom of the tree beds to prevent frost and keep roots warms.

On Saturday and Sunday, January 12th and 13th from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., drag the conifer cadaver to chipping locations in all five boroughs, where it can be ground up and used in your backyard, for a street tree or in one of the gardens and parks around the city. Just make sure you've stripped it of ornaments, tinsel and lights. If you can't make it to MulchFest, drop-off sites are open January 9th through January 13th, and the Department of Sanitation will conduct curbside collections—again, no ornaments, plastic bags, etc.—January 2nd through January 19th.

Here's our friend Birdie NYC showing you the drill: