Leave it to the Times' Alessandra Stanley to give Gothamist a reason to even think about watching Call Me: The Heidi Fleiss Story, with Jamie-Lynn "Meadow" DiScala, on USA tonight. Stanley writes

DiScala interprets the role of the 27-year-old brothel owner with coy vacancy, and her flat affect seems part of a broader postmodern approach to the material. "Call Me" is less a made-for-television movie than an extension of the 50's French nouveau roman; Fleiss's immorality tale is told without almost any conventional elements like dramatic plotting, moral precepts or psychological insight. And like the novels of Alain Robbe-Grillet, the movie is more interesting in theory than in practice.

Gothamist loves the 50's French nouveau roman as much as we love coy vacancy!

The Daily News' David Bianculli doesn't even give "Call Me" any stars: "...one of the least sexy films ever made about the world's oldest profession." And the Post's Linda Stasi rips the movie a new one: "Horrible script, horrible acting, horrible direction. Horrible period." Damn it, Gothamist will definitely have to watch tonight. Only if the Law & Orders on TNT are ones we've seen six times before, though.

Check out Jamie-Lynn's official website.