Recently I was rewatching some 30 Rock episodes, most notably that one where Jenna Maroney rebrands as a chilled-out Jimmy Buffett-type, garnering herself a new Parrothead-esque fanbase (without all the racism). Eventually, even Pete Hornberger joins them, and it is he who I most closely related to in this episode, as a broken, stressed-out human climbing down from his NYC office tower and shedding all of his stress out on the streets in a sea of frozen drinks and Hawaiian shirts. A needed, albeit brief, escape from the everyday... and maybe we all need to unwindulax a little?

Since Jimmy Buffett's retirement community isn't here yet, we'll have to settle for this ridiculous musical, coming to NYC next March—it's called "Escape to Margarittaville," and it looks like a cross between "Jimmy Buffett on Ice" and a slice-of-life Epcot exhibit dedicated to drinking on the beach.

Tickets are now on sale, and this news came with a comment from Buffett himself, who declared: "Going to Broadway is a dream come true, but to be coming to the Marquis is like having a great margarita with a tequila floater." [Pause for reaction and also kettledrum solo.] He added, "If we are going to turn the island of Manhattan into Margaritaville, Times Square seems the perfect place to drop anchor... It's going to be a tropical season in New York. Fins Up!"

Try to abandon most of your life goals by then to make this a more immersive experience.