In case you were concerned that the War on Christmas is not being adequately fought against by the Crusaders of Consumerism, a Long Island mall that put up a PC-ish space age-y Christmas display instead of erecting a majestic murdered tree has given into the demands of shoppers who complained the mall wasn't adequately assailing them with evidence of the Virgin Birth of Buy Two Get One Free, and say they'll make it more Christmas-ey. Hark the herald angels sing, or some shit.
Indeed, Roosevelt Field Mall on Long Island has agreed to replace their holiday display, which was supposed to look like a "glacier" but resembled something along the lines of a hatched dinosaur egg, with "traditional décor, including Christmas trees," according to a statement from the property group that owns the mall. This redecorating comes following a huge backlash from Christmas-loving shoppers, thousands of whom signed a very poorly written petition boycotting the mall.
In defense of its controversial attempt to try something ever-so-slightly different this year, the mall futilely explained, "We aren't trying to make any sort of political statement. Rather we wanted to try something modern and interesting to celebrate Christmas. 'Glacier', which is not yet fully complete, is inspired by the Arctic where Santa begins his Christmas journey. Along with traditional Christmas trees, the experience includes 'Aurora', a digitized modern Christmas tree that performs a sound and light show every thirty minutes, an interactive wall and hidden discoveries."
Big mistake, which Roosevelt Field Mall quickly backed away from, replacing their next-level space age Santa concept with the same old non-threatening Christmas decor. Of course, you can't please everyone; now other Long Islanders are bummed over the loss of the space age display. Here's one Kris Keane:
I raced over there the other day to get your laser Santa glacier experience before it was removed and I was too late. I may be the minority but I really loved the idea of something different this year. Every picture since people have been taking photos with Santa has been the same thing. Santa, kids, and a tree. I was looking forward to 1 year where we could finally get something different. I was looking forward to seeing the laser light backgrounds and what that little glacier had in store for us.
The Roosevelt Field Mall Christmas Fiasco Spectacular is just one of many battles waged in the War On Christmas—just yesterday, GOP presidential candidate/Ambulatory Toupee Donald Trump called for a boycott on Starbucks for replacing their Christmas-y cups with plain red cups for the holiday season. Which, I mean, Starbucks is bad, but c'mon.
"I have one of the most successful Starbucks, in Trump Tower. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks? I don't know. Seriously, I don't care. That's the end of that lease, but who cares?" Trump said. "If I become president, we're all going to be saying Merry Christmas again, that I can tell you. That I can tell you." Never mind that Trump's grandkids are Jewish, but it doesn't look like Starbucks is making any blue cups for them.
Speaking of, I don't see one goddamn menorah or animatronic Judah Maccabee in that display, so you can go to hell, Roosevelt Field Mall.