maccers_big.jpgThe Basics
Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
Manhattan is the third island nation I've lived in. Every three or four years I'm forced to flee. Before moving here I was in Curacao for three years. Curacao is in the Netherlands Antilles -- those tropical islands off Venezuela ruled by people with wooden shoes. Before that I lived in England -- an American-speaking island off Europe ruled by people who are descended from William of Orange, also a wearer of wooden shoes.

Now I live on a block surrounded by courthouses, jails and federal buildings that the realtors call Tribeca. Also, New York used to be New Amsterdam, so maybe I have a fetish for Dutch colonies.

The Treble
1. So you're from Newcastle, England. While we can all imagine the major differences between there and New York, could you please share some of the minor ones?
I actually grew up just outside of Newcastle in a town called Darlington which is famous for the birth of passenger steam railways and football violence.

Unsurprisingly there are no celebrities in Darlington, although Vic Reeves was born there. But he left. You would, you see. Therefore, celebrities impress me and I doubt they would if I had grown up here. I once queued up for 4 hours in 1977 so I could shake a Union Jack at a car that they said held the Queen. How ludicrously sad is that?

Also certain things in Darlington were a total extravagance, such as avocados and smoked salmon, which are abundant in NY.

2. There are many "drug" references on your site. Are you some sort of pharmacist?
No I have no idea about chemicals at all. The closest I came to steady drug use was during hayfever season. I'm just pathetically trying to appear cool.

3. I once ate three double-cheeseburgers, layered with onion rings, one very late night outside of the Burger King in Leicester Square. Can you top that?
I ate dog a few times in the Philippines. It was quite nice.

Proust-Krucoff Questionnaire
9pm, Wednesday night - what are you doing?
I am usually in a bar sucking up to the bartender for free drinks.

Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
Ethan Hawke came up to me at a young NY filmmakers award ceremony for him and thought he knew me. Or maybe he was faking it -- it's hard to tell. He said it was really good to see me again and dropped an amazing come-fuck-me-smile on me. He was so convincing it took me about five minutes to realize I never had met him. All I could do was stand there and squeak. It's because I am from Darlington, you see.

Just after midnight on a Saturday - what are you doing?
I am usually in a bar sucking up to the bartender for free drinks.

What's the most expensive thing in your wardrobe?
A Ben de Lisi dress and a pair of Blahniks. It could also possibly be chinchilla ear muffs that an ex-boyfriend bought me but I don't know how much it actually cost. He intimated that it was extortionately expensive but he was a cheap prick anyway. Plus he is an imbecile so it's worthless to me.

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time? (Name up to three if you must.)
Elizabeth Spiers, Manhattan Transfer, and EuroTrash

The End of The World is finally happening. Be it the Rapture, War of Armageddon, reversal of the Sun's magnetic field, or the Red Sox win the World Series. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
I'll be in a bar sucking up to the bartender for free drinks.


Maccers is featured, along with Gothamist's Jen Chung and others, in this New York Daily News article about women bloggers.