David Letterman announced the birth of his son, Harry Joseph Letterman, on the Late Show last night. Harry arrives at 9 pounds 11 ounces (!!) and to his first top ten list:

1. There is now tangible evidence that I have had sex
2. Two words: Swedish nanny
3. Anxious to put to use all the practice I’ve had raising my pet monkey, Kenny
4. Great new excuse for not hanging out with Regis
5. I stocked up on moist towelettes from the hospital supply room
6. Asking Mom to watch baby perfect way to keep her away from dog track
7. Only the most cold-hearted state trooper would ticket a guy with an adorable baby
8. My used hairpieces make cuddly, fuzzy pals
9. All of America will get to watch him grow up on television, just like Cody Gifford!
10. Instead of "You suck, Dave," I can look forward to "You suck, Dad."

Aw, we can't wait for the poop jokes! And the Observer's Joe Hagan notes that little Harry comes at a time when Letterman is being called too dark compared to perpetually cheery Jay Leno.