It's tough out there for a wizard, as this photo demonstrates! All you want to do is help people out with their quest to rescue Princess Zelda, but nobody shows the slightest interest in accepting your aid. So you're reduced to putting up fliers outside DUMBO delis practically begging every Tom, Dick, and Link to take a free Master Sword—and you still don't have any takers. Don't these people get it's dangerous out there, and they're gonna need this thing to make it past Ganon in Stabber Alley? Whose Triforce does an old man have to Dodongo to unload these things?!

Seriously though, how can they say Brooklyn is becoming too precious, when not a single person even wants a frickin' Master Sword?