If you thought your cat was only good for adorable primping (and hairballs), meowing during scratches, and covering up litter box poop, think again - your cat could have a future in law enforcement. Because the Best Story Ever Ever Ever is how the Brooklyn DA's office deputized an eight month old cat from Animal Care and Control to help bust a fake vet! The case itself seems straightforward - Robert Reid was suspicious of the "treatment" Steven Vassall gave Reid's terrier Burt (Burt had an open wound, was bloody, and didn't need medication post operation) so he contacted the Brooklyn DA's office - but it has the cutest crop of characters ever. Assistant DA Carol Moran selected Fred the cat from Animal Care and Control for a sting operation, where Vassall agreed to neuter Fred for $135 and was promptly arrested. The media was putty in the paws of Fred and Burt - see the NY Times photo of Fred reeling from Burt's kiss; see AM New York's photo of Burt at the press conference - hell, AM New York put him on the cover! The Post titled its article Paw and Order, and the Daily News reporter Nancie L. Katz gets a subtle shoutout from the NY Times' staccato, noirish retelling of the animal tale:
The victim was stitched up. The hero wore a badge to meet the news media. His big green eyes looked past a dozen TV cameras. A dozen camera operators made kissy noises.
A tabloid reporter asked the district attorney a tabloid question.
"This is the first, Nance," Mr. Hynes said. "First undercover cat."
Then Fred took a nap in the corner. Tomorrow was another day. His owner said neutering was still in the works.
Yes, Fred is wearing a detective's badge - does the police union know about this? Now, will Manhattan DA Robert Morgenthau try to rein in a fleet of pigeons outside his window to spy on drug dealers? And you bet the writers of Law & Order are working on the ripped-from-these-headlines script!