Jon Stewart may have traded the late night comedian anchor's chair for an animal farm, but that doesn't mean he isn't paying close attention to what Donald Trump has been up to since becoming president—Stewart returned to televised civilization briefly last night to catch up on all things Trump with his buddy Stephen Colbert. Wearing one of the rescue animals from his farm on his head (it's the new men's fashion: "super long tie, dead animal on head, boom"), he proceeded to read some new executive orders, which included transplanting the Great Wall of China to the Mexico border and declaring America's official language "bullshit."

But after a lot of wig-adjusting and giggling between the two old friends, Stewart got to the more sobering reason why he was there with the third and final "order":

I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting. It has been eleven days, Stephen. Eleven fucking days. Eleven. The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public. And the reason that I Donald J. Trump (this is his words) am exhausting is that every instinct and fiber of my pathological self-regard calls me to abuse of power. I Donald J. Trump want, no deserve, not just your respect but your adoration. Parades with the tanks, and synchronized dancing. And why can't they train 10K doves to spell out 'Trump; in the clouds. How hard can it be, they're already flying?!

I Donald J. Trump am exhausting because it is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance and every institutional check and balance this great country can muster to keep me, Donald J. Trump, from going full-Palpatine, with the lightning coming out of the fingertips and the "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate.'

We have never faced this before: purposeful, vindictive chaos. But perhaps therein lies the saving grace of my, Donald J. Trump's, presidency. No one action will be adequate. All actions will be necessary. And if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight, and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less and constitutionally partially intact, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way I thought I was gonna.

Before Stewart, Colbert caught up on all the latest Trump news in his monologue: "This is supposed to be the honeymoon," he said of the many bumps in the road for Trump's administration so far. "How could he blow the honeymoon? He's had three of them!"