Last night celebrated orator Ira Glass attended a performance of King Lear in Central Park. Starring John Lithgow in the title role, the tragedy—which some self-styled academics have slavishly praised as William Shakespeare's masterpiece—is a complete piece of crap, just like the rest of Shakespeare's overrated oeuvre. But that's just, like, Glass's opinion, man.

That's right, it's about time someone took this "Shakespeare" hack down a notch. And as if to emphasize that he wasn't trolling Twitter with some contrarian opinion based on a single Shakespeare production, Glass twisted the knife in the Bard's backside:

Remember when thousands of Shakespeare plays were performed around the world every year, then Ira Glass finally had the balls to stand up and call bullshit, and then humanity woke up and nobody had to sit through a revelatory production of The Tempest ever again? Sure, opinions are like glassholes, but never doubt that one fussy public radio host can change The Theatre forever.

We called Glass at the number we used when we interviewed him in 2007 and nobody picked up. He's probably busy crafting devastating tweets about how Ben Jonson #blows #monkeyballz. We also called up Philip Glass to see if he wanted to defend his fellow Glassian, and we'll update if we hear back. In the meantime, Jen Carlson is writing fanfic with Seymour Glass's reaction.

UPDATE: In an email, Glass (Ira, not Philip) writes, "Oh, that was something tweeted in the spur of the moment. I'm not sure, in the cold light of day, if I even believe it's true." Too late, Shakespeare's ruined forever!

And there's Twitter, which is built for this stuff: