We have an embarrassing confession to make. Instead of making it out to the big opening of Drunk vs. Stoned 2 at Gavin Brown's Enterprise last Thursday we...ate a giant burrito and fell asleep. Yes, we are now that boring. No, we do not want to talk about it.

In retrospect we're not quite sure whether our laziness saved us a lot of hassle or cost us a really good show. Given the rumors running rampant around the internerd about the events of last Thursday, we're kind of leaning to the latter.

From what we've been able to piece together from our trusty Gothamist army, there were two separate dramas at the opening. First, an allegedly drunken gallery hopper apparently stole a beer can labeled "No Fags" from a "Beeramid" installation (the gallery had to have seen this coming).

Reports have been conflicting about what happened next, but some people have alleged that Brown then physically assaulted the friend of the slippery fingered beer thief. Other people who were there have denied that this happened however, and given that the email we received about it was written entirely in "caps lock" we're going to reserve judgment on what really happened until we get some actual facts.

Regardless, this was only the prequel to the real disaster of the night which happened about an hour later when the cops showed up and shut down the opening like it was a 16 year's kegger. Allegedly drawn in by empty beer bottles littering the street outside of the gallery, the cops caught Brown with a bag of pot. According to Brown, "They were being very cool until someone threw a hot dog out the window at them, that basically broke the goodwill. That's when they put me in handcuffs."

Bearing in mind that it is entirely possible that this story is little more than a publicity stunt, we have to say it is still a pretty embarrassing stain on the reputation of upstanding alcoholics and pot heads everywhere. Particularly the ones who inhabit the New York art world. People, stealing art is not funny or punk rock. Neither is throwing hot dogs at cops. It's stupid. Now go eat some Mexican food and take a nap.

Check out our previous article and conflicting accounts in the comment section here.