A Kiwi reporter interviews Gollum, the Tolkein character who figure prominently in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Return of the King, poolside in L.A. This confused Gothamist, because we always thought Gollum wasn't real, the way Hobbits are not real. But James Griffin learns that Gollum has his eyes on Hollywood post-Rings:

You think Gollum is only about the Rings? Like the rest, you think Gollum has no career after the Rings is dust? They all think that, laugh at us, hurt us with cruel words. But Gollum does not laugh, Gollum knows this is the beginning, yes. And his agent knows this too, yes, he says we are the new Yoda, the next Steve Buscemi, yes. You are like the Master, with your cruel laughter. Sting us, it does.

Bring on the interviews with the Orcs. Or get your own crawling Gollum from Amazon.