hens_big.jpgThe Basics
Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
I'm a year and a half. The good half. Originally from a breeder in Oklahoma, lived 3 months on the Upper East Side (American Kennel Club) then to east 6th St. for 6 months. Now I'm in the L.E.S. I'm a model. Look for me on the VH1 billboard in midtown. Pictures here and here.

Three for You
1. How does it feel to be the target of breedism with derogatory slurs such as "rat-dog"?
Oh god, the "rat dog" thing. It is offensive. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. And I could give you all this "New York's a melting pot" bullshit and "we should all be tolerant of others...blah blah blah." But you know what, some people just don't get it. And I'm not going to waste my time or energy getting all shakey because some 15 year old hoodlum calls me a rat. I don't worry about what others think of me these days. I just try to be cool to others and hope for the best. I guess I'm a bit of a Buddhist in that way.

2. What protective measures have you taken to prevent from being preyed upon by swooping hawks?
Well, for starters, I don't walk around Battery Park with raw meat strapped to my collar anymore. No really, I try not to think about it too much. I could live my life in fear, always wondering if there's going to be some crazed, blood thirsty pitbull around the corner but I'd rather not. I knew this yorkie who was playing on a bed one day, totally normal one minute and then she just fell off, landed the wrong way, and snapped her neck. Dead. True story. I guess when your time's up, it's up. Woooe, this has gotten morbid. Sorry, I'm usually more the Spuds McKenzie type. Are there any questions not refering to death and destruction?

3. Does anyone ever tell you you look like that Taco Bell chihuahua?
I hear "Yo quiero Taco Bell" from some dickhead at least once a day.

Proust-Krucoff Questionnaire
What was your best dining experience in NYC?
Half eaten chicken bones from that block on Chinatown just below Canal, or the garbage bags in front of Veselka, if you like borscht.

What's the most expensive thing in your wardrobe?
My red Ralph Lauren sweater from Doggie Style in Soho.

If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
Those paw trap subway grates on the sidewalks. And skateboarders. I fucking hate skateboarders.

What's your New York motto?
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

Where do you summer?
South Hampton.

Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
That moment, um gee, like everyday. I can't remember the last time I took a dump without ten strangers walking by. You know what they call pee pads in the country? A fucking back yard, people. Ever heard of it? I'm just kidding around. I do love the city. I thrive on it's energy. Besides, you think some Suburban Idiot will carry you around Soho in a bag all or take you to happy hour and give you sips of Red Stripe. Bite me.

Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
Last summer in Tompkins Square dog run I saw that Jack Russell from Fraiser. He smelled my butt and then realized I was a boy and got all embarrassed and started dry humping this poodle. It was hilarious. He's so in the closet. Oh and I always see Moby walking on the street.

This "interview" was suggested by a friend (freakish dog owners) and originally supposed to run on April 1st. Bad concept then, an even worse one now. But this week is spotlight on "Interviewers" at Yankee Pot Roast and I wanted to dispel any notion that I belong in that group. Hey, at least the VH1 photos are real.