Kudos to Jen for her recap of Oscar night. My winners:

- The Hollycaust. Because the film industry can't get enough of it. It was a totally horrific event in world history. But it somehow makes Hollywood think they're relevant. I haven't seen The Pianist, but intend to, so I can't compare it to the ultimate in holocaust schlock, Schindler's List. But still, I'm a little suspicious of any film about such tragedy and horror.

- Adrien Brody. You go, for sounding sincere and being sincere. For reminding the limo-driven Hollywood elite that soldiers have a name, and that some of Hollywood condescend to hang out with them. For beating out actors who already have received the statue and who hope only to boost their egos, not their careers, with such an accolade. For being man enough to cry.

- The Silent Majority. Because star after star gave a rehearsed criticism of a war from which they, the affluent, will be the first to gain. Because Michael Moore's self-importance was booed by at least many in the uber-out-of-touch audience.

- Internationalism. Because only in America do we celebrate foreign, Spanish screenwriting, Japanese animation, and Polish direction.

- Peter O'Toole. Because he's a true actor. Because he recognizes America is the true embodiment of internationalism (see above). Because he's respectful. Because the Oscars needed that ounce of dignity this year especially.

- The Anti-Miramax crowd. Because we now know how politics is embedded in winning. Because we saw Mr. Weinstein even direct his groupies how to accept their own award.

- Eminem. For not being there, and for allowing instead a total ugly freak to accept his award. For seeing Barbra surprised that her own liberal establishment honored a homophobic, mysoginistic, racially-ambiguous rapper.

I could go on. But I won't. I'll take a hint from the Oscar ceremony itself - brevity is golden.