Dearest Woolworth Building,
Last year we were a little late to wish you a happy 100th birthday, but look at us now—right on time. Today you turn 101-years-old... are you worried? You shouldn't be! That's very old, but you are landmarked, which is basically like being a vampire, but for buildings. You cannot die! You will live forever, whether you like it or not. Bet you never thought you'd be turned into condos!
It's not a bad thing though, your immortality. We have Cronuts now, did you hear? Oh, whatever, like you've never had a mouse inside of you. You're really getting judgmental in your centenarian years. But we'll let it go, because you're a really important foundation in this constantly changing city. And you're so beautiful, you almost distract from that atrocious Verizon Building when we look at the skyline from Brooklyn Bridge Park.
In honor of you, Woolworth Building, we have put together a slideshow of you throughout the years. Sentimentality is death, Billy Corgan once told us, so let's also cheers to tomorrow. And hope that tomorrow does not include a nightclub. Oh, too late.
P.S. Sorry you're still not in our logo. We'll send another memo to the design team.