We've passed Memorial Day Weekend, which marks the unofficial start of summer, which marks the official start of lavish party season in the Hamptons. So make a list of lifestyle pop-ups, put a downpayment on your $3K fitness classes, and grab a luxury aviation ride to get your summer of hardcore Poloing underway. But make sure to bring bug spray, because the only thing more pernicious to local residents than an infestation of blood-sucking ticks is an infestation of attention-sucking reality stars.
Bravo's reality show Summer House, which for the last two years has terrorized the lives of the rosé-chugging millionaires who call the Hamptons their summer home away from their other summer home (when they're not traveling to Europe), will soon start shooting its third season. They're using the same house they did for season two, which is apparently news to the neighbors who recently moved next door.
"Not one of the buyers was advised before closing that their multimillion dollar retreat is next door to where a trashy reality TV show is being filmed," an unidentified neighbor told the Post today. Three families "with children and grandchildren" apparently bought properties over the last year adjacent to the Summer House. And in this case, someone is most definitely thinking of the children: "They are not happy," the source told the Post. "Apparently, [one family] watched the show and are now worried that their 3-year-old grandchild will be watching people having sex in the woods."
Please take a moment to enjoy this context-free montage of Summer House drama that makes little sense whether you have or have not seen the show:
The show will begin shooting the weekend of June 22nd and will continue every weekend through Labor Day. Montauk residents have spent years trying to fight off the fornicating yupster bros who have invaded their paradise in the pursuit of nakedly cavorting outside every sleepy tackle shop in sight. The occasional botox crises, helicopter bans, the condom-flinging #Sprayathon2016 hordes, and other grotesqueries haven't helped the hamlet's reputation.
One silver lining for residents and visitors? The scourge of leaf blowers could be quietly snuffed out. Nothing screams relaxation like "a strange, unsettling quiet."