Fox is running a promotion promising to put the “New” back in New York this summer. How do they plan to do this? We at the Gothamist set out to investigate this sinister plan.

Our sources tell us it is going to be much like the “Shock and Awe” campaign, lots of build-up, some big explosions, leaving a bunch of us looking around after it hits to ask “What just happened? Was that it?”

Here is a list of the Six Shows that will, apparently, put the “New” back in New York...

1. North Shore
Starring: Krisoffer Polaha (America’s Prince: The John F. Kennedy Story ), Brooke Burns (Shallow Hal), Nikki Deloach (Traveller), Jay Kenneth Johnson (Days of Our Lives), Jason Momoa (Baywatch) and Amanda Righetti (The O.C.) The show revolves around a bunch of people who work at a luxury hotel in Hawaii. Think, Baywatch Meets Love Boat with a splash of Cheers.
On the Gothamist rating system of “Must See TV” this rates a 2 out of 10.

2. Quintuplets
Starring: Andy Richter (Late Night with Conan O’Brien), Rebecca Creskoff (Greetings from Tuscon) and 5 kid actors who I am sure are not all 15 years old.
This series revolves around Andy Richter (Bob Chase) and Rebecca Creskoff (Carol Chase) raising their 15 year old quintuplets. 3 boys and 2 girls. Andy Richter deserves a shot, so we here at the Gothamist think that you should give this one a try. It can’t hurt.
4 out of 10

3. Method and Red
Starring: well, Method Man and Redman, formerly of the Wu Tan Clan.
Method and Red move to an exclusive New Jersey community and immediately rub their neighbors the wrong way. They spend the next few episodes trying to fit in, with doing things like bringing fruitcake to their neighbors. Initially we at the Gothamist thought, “Can we really stand behind a show that stars Method Man and Redman?” The initial answer was “no”. But upon further review, we want you to give it a 2-3 episode shot.
6 out of 10

4. The Jury
Each week 12 new people will get together as the jury to deliberate and make a verdict on a case. So it is like what happens after C.S.I. We aren’t really sure how this is going to work. 12 new actors each time? I guess the good news is that there will be plenty of actors getting their big chances to make a name for themselves. The most impressive thing about the show is that it is the brainchild of Barry Levinson (Rain Man and The Natural) and Tom Fontana (Oz, Homicide: Life on the Street). If you like C.S.I and Law and Order (one of the 19 that are currently running) then you might want to give this a shot, if those aren’t your cup of tea, this probably won’t be either.
5 out of 10

5. The Simple Life 2
Starring: Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie
Haven’t their 15 minutes of fame expired yet? Do we really need to see these two spreading their love across the country. Unfortunately we at the Gothamist have to watch it to report back to you; you have a much better option. Don’t watch.
1.5 out of 10

6. The Casino
Starring: Timothy Poster and Thomas Breitling
These are the founders of (sold to The multi-millionaires purchased the Golden Nugget Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas in an effort to revitalize the one time hotspot of Sin City. The reality based show produced by Mark Burnett (Survivor) has the feel of a blockbuster hit. We at Gothamist think you better ante up and check out this show.
8 out of 10