Getting your bike stolen sucks, man. I know this because it happened to me last Wednesday. I left it locked in front of my house for about an hour, and when I came plodding down to ride it Toward Destiny (fine, Chinese food) I saw that instead of a bike, there was just a patch of vacant fence, with the chain, relieved of its duties, just dangling there in the late summer breeze.

Anyway, for people like me (bike-less, not great at cooking) there's hope: The 5th Annual Brooklyn Bike Jumble will be held on Saturday, meaning you can replace your pilfered steed without having to resort to inspecting blurry Craigslist photos.

The Jumble's offerings will span everything from hardy beater bikes to "historic collectible bikes," along with parts both used and new. Organizers also promise "overstocks, closeouts and once-in-a-lifetime deals on bicycles! Internet prices without internet shadiness!" You can also take the bikes out for test rides, a luxury rarely afforded to anyone who already traipsed all the way out to East Orange after promising the owner via email you were "almost definitely" going to take it, sight unseen.

The sale will be held at Park Slope's JJ Byrne/Washington Park, located at 5th Avenue and 4th Street from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. And if you see a blue 56 cm Motobecane road bike from around 1980, get the hell away from it. She's spoken for.