2004_08_geoffwolinetz.jpgThe Basics:
Age, occupation, where are you from, where do you live now?
I'm 27 years old. By day, I'm Ad Operations Manager for Turner Sports Interactive. By night, freelance journalist/writer/satirist a-go-go. I'm from Pomona, NY, about 30 miles NW of Manhattan. I now live in the Upper West Side with my girlfriend and my TV.

A few for you:
You're coeditor of Yankee Pot Roast, the journal of literary satire. What's the state of Internet writing these days, and do you think blogs are the death knell for collaborative journals?
Well, I'm probably a little biased, given that Y.P.R. is such a labor of love that it'd be difficult for me to comment negatively on the state of its genre. I will say that this is a very crucial time for the collaborative Internet lit site. With the explosion of the blogosphere and the proliferation of opinion sites, there's a narrow but fertile spot for Internet fiction and satire. We need more people to step up and fill that void, if only to keep a tenuous hold on the collective sanity of our nation. And I think I know just the person to answer that call: Connie Chung. Last I heard, she wasn't doing anything but chugging tequila from the bottle in her undershirt.

Are blogs a death knell? It's difficult to say. On the one hand, they don't seem terribly creative. Many of them just pass around a link the way we passed a joint around in high school. Everyone takes a pull until there's nothing left and everyone is left with that same vague, sort-of-stoned feeling that's more itchy than anything. On the other hand, I can't be a writing snob. Anything that gets people writing at all is exciting to me, be it in the form of opinion, fiction or just a diary-style recounting of their trip to the petting zoo. My 15-year-old brother has a blog. So does my mother. That tells me that writing, on some level, is being embraced all over.

Full disclosure: I'm also coeditor of Y.P.R., along with the great Nick Jezarian. Anyway, it does feel sort of like cheating for me to pretend to ask you objective questions, even though it’s longstanding convention for journalists or interviewers to feign objectivity, along with their subjects, for the readers’ sake. (Go watch Conan O’Brian chat with S.N.L. alums sometime.) Then again, as a freelance-writer / literary satirist / media-whore, you certainly qualifiy as an interesting New Yorker, and thus rightfully deserve an interview. Discuss.
This is going to sound unbelievably obsequious, but I truly believe that every New Yorker is interesting on some level (except for 75-85% of the women that I've dated). On that level, I think that I qualify simply by virtue of living here and trolling the streets every day. We're really splitting hairs by asking, "Who's more interesting: the woman that wears tinfoil as a hat in Central Park or the guy on the bike that just flipped off a pedestrian?" I'm sure they both have pretty good stories to tell. Because of that, as you said, I think I qualify (regardless of the cronyism that may be inferred).

I guess the question here is "Am I interesting enough to counteract the obvious nepotism?" Generally, people who discuss just how interesting they are are quite the opposite. How interesting am I? Let's say somewhere between "interesting enough to be invited to a Nick Denton party" and "not interesting enough to be invited again." I leave it to the reader to the be the judge.

You're also a contributing editor to the just-launched-five-minutes-ago political punditry blog, The Starboard View. What’s up with that?
The Starboard View is a website launched by a group of like-minded, politically oriented people to throw a monkey wrench into the mainstream media. With a crucial election coming up in November and the Republican National Convention here in New York, this is a very exciting time to be a politically active being. Starboard View brings together a group of pundits with unique viewpoints to comment on a variety of issues that are already important parts of the presidential campaign. There's so much being talked about on television and in the papers and so many conflicting viewpoints out there, we figured that it was time to add another voice to the cacophony. If we can get just one more person politically motivated for this November's election, then we've done our job.

What makes satire rock and who are your favorite satirists?
This may be blasphemy to my 10th-grade English teacher, but I think that people like Chuck Klosterman and Neal Pollack have done more for cultural critique and political satire (respecitvely) than Voltaire did. Voltaire's satire is funny, I'm guessing, but satirizing foppish and naïve aristocracy doesn't really hit me on any kind of visceral level.

People like Klosterman and Pollack have brought satire to the people. And in the same way that anything that gets people writing is exciting to me, anything that gets people thinking and debating is exciting to me. If they're together enough to discuss "Saved by the Bell" (à la Klosterman) or rock ’n’ roll (à la Pollack) than they have the tools to discuss politics or anything more "serious" (though calling politics "serious" is debatable itself). And what that says to me is that we have a fighting chance in this country and on this planet. I fancy myself an optimist. For me, one of the most complimentary things is being understood. Klosterman and Pollack are understandable and they do it with humor. And that is where their brilliance lies. I just wish they'd answer my letters.

Proust-Krucoff-Abraham Questionnaire:
What bygone NYC place or thing do you wish were still around? (Defunct bar, passé trend, checkerboard taxicabs, etc.)
The Chinese place on 76th and 1st that I went to as a kid when we stayed at my stepmother's apartment.

What location would you declare a city landmark?
The corner across from my old apartment where the old woman sits and paints pictures of the Statue of Liberty.

Best bargain to be found in the city?
The Kwik-Kart guy on the corner of 45th and 6th. Everything's under 5 bucks and he's actually been reviewed by food critics.

Best place to take a cheap date?
During the summer, to Bryant Park to see an old movie on the big screen. Pack a small picnic basket. During the winter, Wollman Rink in Central Park.

Please describe your greatest celebrity encounter in NYC.
I was standing outside a theater on 48th St, and I noticed Martha Plimpton was in whatever was playing so I started obnoxiously fawning all over her past movie performances to get a laugh out of my friends. I turned around and she was standing right there.

What’s your favorite scene from a movie that reflects New York life?
The scene in Manhattan where Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are sitting under the 59th St. Bridge. There's something about that scene. It's talking, sitting and outdoors. All are essential to the New York existence.

Best public restroom?
A lot of people would go for a bookstore, but they are surprisingly dirty because they discourage you from bringing books in there. The best public bathroom is in the NY Public Library, Mid-Manhattan branch on the 7th floor. And you can bring books in there.

Who, in your opinion, is the quintessential New Yorker?
Woody Allen, because he won't leave New York, even to go to the Oscars.

Describe that low, low moment when you considered leaving N.Y. for good.
As bad as it's ever gotten, living anywhere else always seemed worse.

What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
I sat in traffic on the other side of the Ronald Reagan funeral procession on the way to a wedding.

The End of the World is on its way. What would you do with your last 24 hours in New York?
I'd take a final look at the city from 5 places: Sheep's Meadow in Central Park, the top of the Empire State Building, the crosswalk on the Brooklyn Bridge, the upper deck at Yankee Stadium and my bedroom window.

- Interview by Josh Abraham