All the talk about Charlie's Angels Full Throttle being about female empowerment is a joke, because it's just about a bunch of girls being silly and their T&A. Of course Gothamist knew that, but the evidence is too overwhelming not to comment on. For starters, a painful-to-read interview by Sean Smith of Newsweek, with the Angels, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu. Here's a sample:
BARRYMORE: It is gold.
DIAZ and LIU: [Loudly, imitating Mike Myers from Austin Powers in Goldmember] Its gold!!
LIU: We imitate Mike Myers all the time. [To Barrymore] Do you think he knows?
BARRYMORE: Oh, he knows!
BARRYMORE and DIAZ: Because we told him! [Laughter]
BARRYMORE: Weve accosted him in person several times.
BARRYMORE, DIAZ and LIU: Its gold!
BARRYMORE: We get hooked on words and how to say them a certain way.
BARRYMORE and DIAZ: Gold!
And if Gothamist wanted to cry after reading that early part, we did actually cry after reading this:
Drew, what are your favorite body parts of Lucys and Camerons?
BARRYMORE: Lucys tushie and Camerons boobs. Not that I dont love Camerons butt and Lucys boobs.
DIAZ: Lucy has great boobs. Theyre so firm. [Grabs her own breasts]
LIU: Its so hard, because Ive seen both of these girls
BARRYMORE: Naked for the last four years.
LIU: Its so hard. Im not as specific.
BARRYMORE: I wish I hadnt been. [Laughter]
DIAZ: I wish I had Drews flesh. Its so even and firm and voluptuous. Also, her profile is amazing.
BARRYMORE: Thanks, Poo. [To Liu] You have the most beautiful stomach.
DIAZ: Yeah, she has a great stomach.
BARRYMORE: You have the craziest stomach Ive ever seen. Its... dynamic.
LIU: For real?
BARRYMORE: For real.
Yes, these ladies are hot. But for the love of God, just stop talking. Stop. Don't speak. And aparently, there's a lot of licking going around in Charlie's Angels: Demi Moore licks Cameron Diaz's face. Yes, that's exploitative, and that's it. It's not as hot as Michelle Pffeifer licking Michael Keaton in Batman Returns. Or Cartman licking Scott Tenorman's tears.
Elvis Mitchell almost has an insulin attack after seeing Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle: It's like "eating a bowl of Honeycomb drenched in Red Bull a dizzying mouthful of unabashed silliness that leads to an equally precipitous crash once the buzz wears off after the film's first hour."