Fresh off getting mooning charges against her dropped, diminutive rapper Foxy Brown sat down with the NY Post to discuss how she's incredibly misunderstood, "The mooning thing bothered me more than anything else in the past -- because I'm a lady." She also revealed that since she lost her hearing, she feels, "I'm on an assignment from God." Who knew she had so many things in common with Sarah Palin?

Last year, Brown was hit with criminal contempt charges for violating parole because her neighbor claimed that Brown mooned her, revealing her underwear, on a Brooklyn Street. Brown was prepared to explain that she couldn't have mooned anyone, because "I couldn't have mooned Arlene Raymond because I wasn't wearing any underwear, in a Sharon Stone kind of 'Basic Instinct' way." Raymond eventually refused to testify, and now Brown emphasizes, "I'm cut from a different cloth. I would never moon someone. I was raised in a good family." She just doesn't wear underwear when she wears tight dresses, okay?

Born Inga Marchand and raised in Park Slope, Brown explains, "All my friends were in the park smoking weed and getting pregnant. I didn't want to be the young black girl having a baby, a baby's father, being on welfare. That wasn't going to be my story. I wanted to be a criminal-justice attorney." Of course, she ended up on the road to rap stardom and run-ins with the law (smackdowns with manicurists, belt disputes, being in cars that run down bicyclists) that landed her in jail for 8 months after violating her three-year parole for the manicurist smackdown when she hit a neighbor with her Blackberry. Brown complains, "If Lindsay Lohan was black, she would have done two years, at least. Is there no equal standard?" but Rikers was okay: "You'd have thought Obama was in the building when I walked in: The girls loved me. The officers were jealous because I was getting hundreds of thousands of letters a week."

What's up next on Foxy's (and God's) agenda? Becoming a spokeswoman for the National Deaf Association (she wears a hearing aid after suffering sensorineural hearing loss), writing her memoir, releasing an album, considering posing nude for Playboy and suing the city for $100 million (or a $100,000—give or take some millions).