We're less than a week away from the premiere of the final season of pro-incest propagandist television program Game Of Thrones, which means we're reaching a fever pitch of marketing tie-ins. There has already been a global Iron Throne treasure hunt, GOT-themed Oreos, Mountain Dew commercials, and Valyrian-only Shake Shack menus. But that was all mere foreplay for all the viewing parties and decadent screening options we're about to reveal—because what New Yorker doesn't want to pay a few hundred dollars to stay at an exclusive GOT-themed hotel suite in Midtown?!?

Refinery Hotel, the luxury hotel near Bryant Park in Manhattan, takes the cake with "The Ultimate Game of Thrones Suite." They've come up with the "Lannister’s Lair," a $569 suite that will be available every Sunday from April 14th (the premiere date) through the end of the season.

Hopefully this will be less of a Red Wedding and more of a Tasteful Platter situation (Allan Warren)

They write: "Game of Thrones fans can book the suite and invite friends over for the ultimate viewing party. Spend the day rewatching past seasons all leading up to the drama-filled Sunday night episode. Toast to the monumental season with goblets full of wine while you indulge in a themed room service menu with dishes such as Braavos Branzino and Dragon Snack." Let's hope you like... fish heads?

All fish must die (Allan Warren)

What do you get for $569? Fur throws, "goblets" of hotel-branded wine, "mood setting 'dragon egg' candles" (which frankly look like a serious fire hazard in the photos), the aforementioned themed menu, and access to HBO & HBO GO so you can spend all day indoors binge-watching the show. There's also a tiny TV!

You'll see nothing unless you get really up close to the TV, Jon Snow (Allan Warren)

Refinery may be the only hotel (we know of) in the city really shooting-their-shot for the final season, but there are plenty of other bars and restaurants that are trying to entice people to watch the show with strangers instead of in the comfy confines of their own apartments. Dekalb Market Hall’s new entertainment venue Dekalb Stage will host a "Game Of Thrones Watch Party" for the season premiere from 8:30-11 p.m. this Sunday with themed drinks (The Red Wedding: champagne, strawberries & citrus rum; The Dragon Fire" spiced rum, coconut cream, pineapple & hibiscus tea). Fletcher’s BBQ will offer a special GOT-themed menu to go along with it, including French Fries of Many Faces, Tyrion’s Surprisingly Large Hot Link, Dothraki Deep Fried Wings and Targaryen Charred Burnt Ends.

Dekalb Market Hall has also have teamed up with OKCupid for the dating app’s "Global Game Of Thrones Badge," which apparently makes OKCupid "the first dating app to match daters on their favorite TV show," which seems nice for them. I guess people who are "active OkCupid app users" will receive a complimentary Red Wedding or Dragon Fire cocktail if they show up to the premiere, so there is some incentive to download the app for at least a day!

The Library Bar at Hudson Hotel is also offering a limited time GOT cocktail menu for the entire new season, available now through May. That includes Winter is Coming (rye whiskey with a mix of sweet and dry vermouth), Mother of Dragons (splashes of pineapple and lime juice with a kick of Mount Gay black barrel rum), A Lannister Always Pays Their Debts (port wine and cognac), The White Walker (vodka, lemon juice and coconut creme), and the Beyond the Wall (mezcal, various citrus juices and Cocchi Americano).

And of course, who could forget about VillageOne, a SoHo-based coworking space that is hosting viewing parties and "interesting contests" during the final season. They write, "Ten contestants will choose a character and use Westoros accent to read one minute piece such as shampoo bottle, cereal box or even condom package instruction. The best contestant picked by the Maestors of Citadel will win a one-month membership!" That definitely sort of makes sense, but get more info about it here.