What is the deal with New Year's Eve in NYC?! Doesn't anyone want to keep getting wasted until 8 in the morning anymore? Because that's when the magic happens, when Amateur Night fully devolves into Disgraceful Novice Night. But in order for that shameful metamorphoses to occur, bar and nightclub owners must apply for a special permit to stay open past 4 a.m. And fewer proprietors are doing it! Why bother even celebrating 2011 if you can't count on your night climaxing with an inebriated, broad-daylight assault on an ATM to cover a 7:45 last call?
The deadline to apply for the permit is November 16th, and only 11 city bars and clubs have gotten approval, out of 23 that applied! But don't panic bros, this is probably all part of an elaborate game of chicken between the SLA and bar owners. Last year, only 39 bars applied in time, and the agency ended up extending the deadline. Ultimately another 299 bars filed late and were allowed to keep the party going past the point when anything remotely dignified might happen.
"The process isn't rocket science," SLA spokesman William Crowley tells the Daily News, sounding just a tad desperate. "Bars put in an application on time with a check for $61. The SLA is happy, the NYPD is happy, bars are happy and people are safe." But Crowley promises that this year there won't be any extension, so get it together, NYC party promoters! This is the greatest night of the year and we need a hole to throw our money into, and then vomit on top of. (N.B.: "We" doesn't literally mean "us"; we'll be ringing in 2011 with our usual New Year's Eve tradition of falling asleep to About a Boy by 11, in a pool of vomit that may or may not be Hugh Grant-related.)