"THIS THING costs $9 million?" you may be thinking as you glance at this photo of a bland brick exterior home in Gravesend, Brooklyn. But if that front yard garden maze is any indication of what is inside, then what is inside must be GRAND.

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So, before you have any more thoughts, let's take a look...

Here we go, this is the stuff, this entrance really knows how to make an... entrance, hmmmm?

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Over here we have a room specifically for your secret society meetings. However, you must bring your own scroll, declaring your own secret society rules. You may also want to burn some sage in this room before moving in. Sage is also not included in the price of the home.

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Then, upstairs, be transported to a Midtown Manhattan hotel room of your very own. Bible and toiletries not included.

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But remember those staircases we saw earlier? Reach the top and there's a portal to Heaven.

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Not sure why Curbed isn't shocked this is still on the market...