Unsatisfied by 50 Shades of Gray, we ventured north to Times Square early this morning in search of some other light subway reading material and we were NOT disappointed. The 13 firefighters who posed for the FDNY's 2013 Calendar of Heroes were there signing purchased copies of the calendar, so we hung out with the hunks, talked hot bodies and good causes, and even scored a super exclusive interview with Mr. September, Jovis Depognon.

One does not simply just apply to be an FDNY calendar boy—it is, indeed, a highly competitive process. Approximately one hundred NYC firefighters attended a casting call in mid-February, and through a series of interviews and ab shots with a panel of judges, those one hundred were whittled down to thirteen featured (12 months, plus the cover). 29-year-old French woman Cannelle Cratel approves, "This man is so, so, so, so, beeyooteeful and sexy," she told us.

The 34-year-old Mr. September tells us his diet is "very paleo-friendly, meaning meat, fruit, vegetables, and nuts. I stay away from dairy, cheese, I stay away from pasta." He also offered his two cents for someone looking to change their figure, "90 percent of it is diet. Everyone's body is different so what might work for me, might not work for someone else. My only advice for someone looking to change their diet is write down everything you eat and see how your body reacts to it." He says his fellow firefighters tease him a lot, but that it's all in good fun. We cried jealously, but he humbly dismissed our assertion. "Firefighters like to tease," he says. NO KIDDING.

Depognon shaves his chest clean and he likes it that way, calendar or no. But lest we get too distracted by the imagery, Depognon wants to remind us that "the FDNY Foundation is not-for-profit so proceeds go towards training and education. There's a lot of work that goes into being a NYC firefighter—any emergency that you can think of, we show up to and it's not stuff you know just off the top of your head. You need to constantly train and it takes money. Getting the calendar means funds."

Our last burning question: Why were they not shirtless for the signing? Depognon flashed a wry smile and told us that we would have to purchase the calendar to see him topless. So we did—and, yes, these boys' bods are on fire.