Ernest Hemingway once wrote the saddest story in just six words, but we might have a new contender after last night's Fashion's Night Out extravaganza: Wintour wears t-shirt to Queens Mall. While editrix Anna's tale may not be as sad as "For sale: baby shoes, never worn," it's certainly comically tragic enough. The Vogue editor organized the worldwide event, getting A-list to D-list to no-listers all out to spend their cash at retailers—or at least show up to be a part of the scene, which NY Mag's Cut Blog said was "like Mardi Gras but with smaller boobs and pricier beads."

Everyone from Grizzly Bear's Ed Droste to Barbara Walters partook in the night; though allegedly Lindsay Lohan only showed up at her Ungaro appearance for two minutes, refused to take any photos, and ditched her mother there (who was "so pissed"). Some folks weren't so happy in the West Village either, where Taylor Momsen played a concert with her band on Perry Street, and residents threw eggs at the crowd! Somewhere uptown, Simon Doonan of Barney's told the NY Post, "My vision was to have me lounging around smoking opium and philosophizing. Freud said handbags were a vaginal symbol, so maybe shoes are, too." We'll never accessorize the same again.

Meanwhile, back in Elmhurst, Wintour told her outer-borough fans that she loves Queens, and "It's my second time here!" And she probably had to be there longer than anticipated, as Bloomberg kept her waiting; the NY Times reports “He was half an hour late, and it looked as if her patience was waning." Sound like everyone could have used some of Doonan's opium last night.