Halloween enthusiasts can experience manufactured horrors for a lot of money and minimal terror, or real, authentic horror for free within the fetid walls of the digester eggs at Newtown Creek's Wastewater Treatment Plant.

The Department of Environmental Protection is treating thrill-seekers to an evening of scary smells and contaminated substances during the first annual Halloween tour of the Greenpoint plant. The eggs haven't been open to the public since Valentine's Day, so be sure to RSVP quickly, because you're not the only one who wants to pass the Most Haunted Day of the Year inside New York City's largest wastewater pump station, fed by 180 miles of sewers!

Those still not satisfactorily soiled can also ride Newtown Creek's wretched waters with North Brooklyn Boat Club's Haunted Canoe Tour, where the costumed ghouls will be nothing compared to the threat of accidentally getting some of the creek's contents in your mouth. At least your newly sprouted neck-eyeball will mean you never have to spend money on a costume again!

The digester egg tour will take place on Thursday at 6 p.m. at Newtown Creek's Wastewater Treatment Plant. RSVP to to events@dep.nyc.gov. Prizes will be distributed to Best Costume, and "treats and giveaways" will be included as well. No children under 12 allowed, and participants may not wear sandals—but why would you ever do that?