ethan_big.jpgThe Basics
Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
31. If I describe my job to you, I'm afraid I'll realize that I have to quit. I work in insurance. I grew up in NH, moved here for school and stayed. We're in Greenpoint now – I've been here for almost 10 years - and we'll probably stay here in spite of all evidence that it's a famously unhealthy place. The goal, eventually, is to work in the neighborhood where we live.

Three for Thee
1. One wouldn't exactly call your band, The Romance of Vagues, a representative of the classic "Sound of Greenpoint" but that's probably a good thing. How do you fit into all this mess?
I think Greenpoint is home to a lot of musicians my age. Underlying the hipster influx it’s pretty solidly Polish proletariat. I've been told kids grow up in Poland learning an instrument, but I don't see it in this neighborhood. It's really scrappy here – the dreams of the immigrant lain bare – the gentrifiers seem the more likely flaneurs – people with time enough that the mind wanders to philosophy or art. I'm not sure where I fit in.

2. I've heard you bring your baby girl to shows. Do you think you'll ever incorporate her into performances like the Trachtenburg Family or do you think she'll be Kelly to your Ozzy one day?
Upon the announcement of her birth, she was drafted by the Hungry March Band (with whom I play trombone) to work in the brass mines. I think she will be good at this.

3. This one has been bugging me all day and night. What happens to a shrimp who falls asleep?
It's nice when someone asks a question about a song. The full title of the song is "A Shrimp Who Falls Asleep is carried out by the Tides." Out to sea I guess; it's a Spanish Proverb. The English translation would probably be "You snooze; you lose." These instrumentals need names and I'd be bullshitting you if I said that the name inspired the song or vice versa. I do like the name better than something like "So What" or "Hoe-Down" or "Pick Up Sticks." The song is an instrumental comprised of three saxophone parts. I was trying to write my own version of Ornette Coleman's "Lonely Woman."

Proust-Krucoff Questionnaire
Time travel question: What era, day or event in New York's history would you like to re-live?
When did King Kong climb the Empire State Building? I was there but I forgot some details.

Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
For a while I worked as an electrician. Once I had a job in the apartment of a young man who was rumored to have been an heir to some part of the Jif peanut butter family fortune. The apartment was a $2m TriBeCa affair in which we worked side by side with the tenant's decorator. The decorator was easy going and cool and he fed me enough details about the peanut butter prince to get me worked into a righteous froth. He told me the PBP had a trust fund on the order of $1.2m/yr (that's $100,000/month to you and me), and that he lived in a constant state of overdraft. By the decorator's estimate, the major expense seemed to be private jet travel. Hard to know what to do with that information.

Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
A few years out of college I started thinking I'd been here too long. I thought everyone was supposed to live in lots of different cities; that to do otherwise would betray a lack of ambition. That urge to move has given some slack since then.

What's the most expensive thing in your wardrobe?
The suit I was married in.

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time?
There’s a great picture of John Lennon and Yoko Ono under a tree in Central Park on the cover of Plastic Ono Band. Maybe it’s not Central Park. I could almost spend my life trying to imitate that.

What was your best dining experience in NYC?
I like to put a sweet potato in the oven for about 40 minutes (Make sure to poke a few holes with a fork).

Just how much do you really love New York?
A wicked lot.

Medication: What and how much do you take?
Hydrocodone (cough syrup). Two teaspoons a day in a perfect world. The legal drugs in this country are the wrong ones. I'm sure of it. Think about the three, big, legal drugs in the US (caffeine, alcohol and tobacco). One of them definitely kills you prematurely, one makes your heart race and alternately makes you drag your ass and become useless without it, and the third makes you a violent, sick, an asshole or some combination of those. Compare those gems with some illegal drugs and the arbitrary nature of our drug laws is revealed. What's so wicked about a drug that gives you a general sense of well-being. I realize that I can do yoga and eat well and achieve a sense of well-being. I also know that I can crawl ten miles on my hands and knees to a hot dog eating contest and the police won't throw me in jail. Now, I would like some reefer please.

Of all the movies made about (or highly associated with) New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
The pony ride guy in The Little Fugitive. I just made that up. Was he a good character?

If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
I'd love to shuffle up the neighborhoods so they weren't so homogenous. I've heard that they used to be more mixed up and that they were intentionally divided at some point. Now it seems like an act of defiance to live in the wrong neighborhood.

The End of The World is finally happening. Be it the Rapture, War of Armageddon, reversal of the Sun's magnetic field, or the Red Sox win the World Series. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
I should probably have a plan.